i
horizontal
bones weigh more
he gathers wood
buys fire
flesh rots but won't forgive
ii
throw a feast
pluck away
it's your body
send them flying
fresh organs hell yes
iii
dead
we still need
someone who cares
enough to give us
dignity
iv
ash settles on
ash
bones scatter
like marbles
and time rolls on
v
nothing
and that's
saying too much
vi
see past skin
thoughts flow
like shooting stars
each one a journey
of light years
vii
if I stretch
a sentence long enough
I can
sleep on it
and never wake up
viii
a new piece
organs play
dead man's bluff
red hides
behind white and gray
ix
a lab coat
a life
some acid or base
so much fun watching
the colors change
x
one word
is all it takes
smoke
becomes wood
ready to burn again
xi
like camphor
I want to vaporize
without leaving a trace
.
Author notes
constructive criticism: yes
A contest entry
- snippets of you by piggyback.
6000 points, ended November 17, 2008, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
As a natural pitch substance, camphor burns cool without leaving an ash residue
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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"vii
if I stretch
a sentence long enough
I can
sleep on it
and never wake up"
realllyyy good.
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I love the title and each snippet says its own story, without too many words, just as I meant with the contest. Each one of your words holds an incredible amount of power. I love all of this. Thanks for your entry.
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thank you (: i loved the daily ritual of asking myself what i was feeling and putting it into words.
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Interesting snippets, a bit abstract but I believe not so much that the reader can't grasp what you mean.
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Oh my word, kudos, you took my breath away with the impact of fourteen words, outstanding phraseology " horizontal bones weigh more"
I was considering entering the contest but not now, it is more than enough pleasure to read what I cannot write, I applaud your brevity, depth, originality.
Excellent!
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