.
25th October:
and clock-like,
i hide my face
behind your hands,
we wait
for the inevitable
.
26th October:
anger begets silence
the ache of tiredness
is infectious,
and we all trickle
to our beds
.
27th October:
i let you
draw Greek letters
on my shoulders
until my skin
wore through
.
28th October:
the sun smiled
with false humour
and we melted
together
.
29th October:
you exemplify
cliche
and in judgment,
i collapse
into a stereotype
.
30th October:
enfolded
in your scent
anger slips
through my fingers
unheeded
.
31st October:
my tongue -
alienated by
papered throat
is avenged
with loose morals
.
1st November
time flies
but you know,
bridges are made
to last
.
2nd November
originality is secreted
behind layers of
grime and insincerity
just scrub harder
.
3rd November
tolerance plummets
a stone bird
without wings
weighted by
your ignorance
In a list
A contest entry
- snippets of you by piggyback.
6000 points, ended November 17, 2008, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Go for it
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Bandit Appreciation!
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The Poetic Bandits
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Wow, what a wonderful insight, you captured me and I wanted this to go on so I could read more. Best to you fine poet.
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Excellent
Such a well crafted poem. So filled with great snippets. Thank you for sharing.
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Beautiful diary of your love, great write.
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I always have to work a little harder at your poetry, It seems that in snippets you give away a lot here, you tolerate much, love a heap. I think he is very short-sighted.
stone bird! -- you are too young.
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I like how it is dated like in a diary. I am confused if these are like thoughts of the day or snippets from poetry. I figure it is option B.
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These are diary entries - that is why it is dated like a diary ...
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Outstanding
This read like a poetic diary. I enjoyed this a lot full of words of wisdom and unexpected images. It's nice to see someone trying something different. This is refreshing and very poetic.
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very odd, but original
and thought provoking.
There's something about this that I can't put my finger on ... but I really like it. Well done! -
Wow, this is awesome! Most of these are like the ideal snippets. Poetry that can stand on its own but forms ampler poetry put togetsnippet her. My favorite bit was the snippet about the Greek letters... the sun smiling with false humour is an amazing image, too. This is wonderful work. thank you for your entry.
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This is amazing!
Love the diversity
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Oh boo. I really liked "and clock-like". I vote you put it back! But then you'd have to take away the second "and." How about "behind your hands- // waiting for the inevitable"?
I'm a big fan of starting things "in the middle". Like with "and," or "so," or "as I was saying," or the such. -
still liking the add-ons of this!
the last one is my favorite so far *hugs* -
I liked this. It was odd, especially the 27th. I like the reference to the clock, I have something similar about clocks that you wrote in my songbook (it must be good!). I also liked the trickling to bed because I have never seen anyone move in that way. Cheers
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oohhhhhhhhh, pol, i love this
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Nicely done. I think you forgot to date it thought.
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Thank you - I completely forgot about dating it
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"and clock-like"
WAY cool!!!
Not sure if I agree where you've put "and clock-like"...maybe as the first line...but either way, this phrase is so fucking good...
Have I told you I love grandfather clocks? I don't have one, but I think they're so...well, grand.
Anyways.
"and we all trickle
to our beds"
I do that WAY too often.
A fun read.
Jessica
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Hopefully if you like it now then it can only get better as it goes on ... I think this contest is a funkycool idea ... you should do it too grandfather clocks are damn awesome - I plan to have some when I grow up!
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It is a nifty idea, but I couldn't think of apeshit for it!
I want a grandfather clock too!!!
But they're bloody expensive...
I'll try an auction, maybe...I sooo need to go to auctions regularly when I'm all...adult-y.
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i like the title of this; very mysterious and i think it sums up the "snippet" very well. im looking forward to reading the rest of this diary entry
i like what youre doing with the lower case i. i know that you are a grammar freak so the i is definately lower case on purpose haha.
i cant wait for the rest!!
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These are four lines of fascinating mystery! All sorts of things could be attached to such thoughts! If you revise it, I want to get a better idea of what it is about, but that would take away from the drama!
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