My words fly up, my thoughts remain below:
Words without thoughts never to heaven go. (Hamlet)
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There is no more pollen of overripe grass,
butterflies have gone their own way,
sun rays gently warm the windows’ glass
My heart still sings a song of May.
So many things I would like to give you
but I am not rich of money and gold,
my heart is the only and genuine token
infusing blood into each line of my poem.
If I could alter the color of flowers
I would do it every day for you.
If you would look for the shine of rainbows
I would put it into each blob of morning’s dew.
If I could change the wind’s run
it would hum only the right tunes.
If I would have to learn old secret scripts
for you I would learn to write the runes.
With my palms I would hold the sun,
and care not if it burns my skin,
with my breath I would move the clouds
to reach for the stars and Milky Way’s twin.
Poor is my poem, but strong is my love,
I lack of the words and lost my rhyme,
summer still lives in my flesh and bones
so beautiful is autumn and winter will come,
but all the seasons and weather shifts
can’t change my heart.
Author notes
Theme: love, what else?
POY
In a list
- Love • next in list
- AP Trophies - G - S - B and HW • next in list
- AP Trophies - POD, POW, POM, POY and HW • next in list
A contest entry
- Poem of the Year - POY - by Bear by Arkbear.
12500 points, ended January 1, 41 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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Hi Sonja,
It's so good to see you in the POY!
I'm very sorry I wasn't able to finish my judging duties this year, but wanted to swing by and comment on your work anyway, now that I have a little bit of a chance.
Did you know you are one of my poetic heroines? Everyone says "love" is cliché, but you proved last year that there will always be new ways to speak and write of love. I still have a fondness for both rhyming and love poetry...of course to admit that could get me thrown out of the judges chambers! 
There's certainly a lot to be said for "unique" themes...but eventually I wonder what the meaning behind some of them are...whereas with love poetry, there is always a greater meaning behind the "ho, hum" one. 
I found this to be quite beautiful, but have to agree with my co-judges who found the last stanza a bit...off...for whatever reason.
The message is there, which makes me wonder why the "poor is my poem" part is necessary...but as always, it is your write and your choice what to include or forego. These are just my opinions...and I know you know that from past PO or SO contests.
I hope to see your talents over at DP as well as here, in the future...and thank you for braving the 99% of people who will say love is always cliché. Thankfully, you already have a gold trophy that says it is not!
Best wishes always,
~J.
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Dear trista, I am pleased to see your comment too. Well, your co-judges stumbled on the last stanza. Here is (at least I will try) my explanation. When I write about love I always think how it must be some better way to write about it and to explain one's (my) inner feelings. This last stanza do not deny my previous lines, "poor is my poem" - its intention was to emphasize that I could said it all some better way but sometimes I can't. This is just a poetical phrase. The real love feelings can't be said with words. And at least but not the last, everybody thinks that just his or her love is unique. And you know what I will say? They all have a right. Love is not a cliché.
~Sonja~
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A clever mix of rhyme and meter with FV, I'm just not sure it works for me here. I'm a big fan of a lot of your writing, and of some parts of this. If I accept youir theme is "love" overall it would certainly fail the originality test as would about 80% of the poetry ever written! Howver I think we must look deeper and I do not find this to be cliched or unoriginal in any way, it's just the form for me ...
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Jeff, this is just another contest. I was able to post something else but this one was my choice and I am here to cope with consequences.
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Hello Sonja ~
First impression.....your 1st S* prepared me for what was to come, and I was not disappointed at all ~
You won last year because your had the best entry........this is no exception ~
BUT.......this...>>>
Poor is my poem, but strong is my love,
I lack of the words and lost my rhyme,
summer still lives in my flesh and bones
so beautiful is autumn and winter will come,
but all the seasons and weather shifts
can’t change my heart. ****....OMGosh Sonja....I cringed when I got to this point ~
( I )....feel as though your Tone and Flow and visuals were spot-on......until that last S*.....but, I am not saying your descriptives and thoughts hold no merit....I look at that last S* in several ways......just a weeeee bit cliche'....but still has Power ~
I am listing this as one of my Fav.'s so far....but I will be readint again and again later tomorrow before I can make a conclusive judgment for your score ~
Once again, you have proven why you can still out-pen most Poets on AP....I simply adore your work....good luck and God bless,
Bear ~
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Thanks for good wishes. With your comment you already gave me a prize.
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Hi, and welcome to the POY
I agree with my co-judges that this theme is very common, and I, too, would like to see a few line-breaks in here. Your language, however, is a different story; it's perfectly-suited to the content, though your choice of theme will hurt your score a bit. I guess, though, that love is subjective to the people involved... Somewhat
Thanks for entering, and good luck!
Laura
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Thanks Laura for good wishes. I am here to write you are here to judge with
or 
. We are all doing the best we can. For me love is not only the theme it is love.
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Hi there welcome to the POY I have to agree this is not an uncommon theme I would of liked to see some more stanza breaks in this though. Remember no editing once a judge has commented.
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As a recent year POY winner it would be too much to expect to take Gold again. I am here to post my work and to see my readers reaction, you are here to do your job. Everybody has its own taste for poetry and this is what I mostly like with no bad feelings.
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Aloha and welcome to POY!
The write is beautiful...but I don't think it can take Gold...due to the theme which as you know...
"love" is the most common...even written uniquely...
Best wishes in the contest...and always...
Write on!
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Thank you islekine. Well, I will wait to see what others will say. Let's the game start again...
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theme isn't unique, but the way the poem is wrote is really good i love the middle part
~GOOD LUCK~
*Mystal* -
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Theme isn't unique, I agree, but love always is. Thank you for your kind words Mystal LaRose.
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This is very idiosnyncratic in its style, and delivers its message in a purely enthususiatic style.
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This is beautiful Sonja, I enjoyed reading very much. The last stanza is particularly moving, as if to say with the most eloquent words, "I cannot say what I mean, but it is like this." The application of the quote leads to deeper thoughts. Well done!
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There is a lovely, dreamy romanticism to this. The intermittent rhyme and mixed meter give the poem a sense of spontaneity as if the airy thoughts are floating ahead of the more earthbound prosody. The dichotomous sense of the poetry with the imagery, which is by turns idyllic and hyberbolic, makes the epigraph even more apropos.
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An interesting mixture of rhyme/non-rhyme and variations of metre! But do be careful of the use of the possessive 's. Do remember that for inanimate objects "of the" is more common, and expressions such as "the windows' glass", "morning's dew" and "the Milky Way's twin" strike the ear as a little forced and awkward.
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lovely
I feel this myself, "My heart still sings a song of May." so I understand the depth here. Stanza three is wonderful, you have such great hyperbole with these wishes. There is underneath all this a wistfulness, "There is no more pollen of overripe grass". This is life and love, lovely.
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I totally agree with Guy's comments on this poem, Sonja.. this poem is so beautiful; it sings of love in a such pure and authentic voice, and somehow you made me think of Neruda's 100 Sonnets of Love.
As always your poetry includes natural references and I for one totally adore that, for nature is indeed the best metaphor for a love like this. Love seems to rise and dance and sing frome each and every word. Lovely poetry, romantic and so very lyrical.
Thank you for sharing this lovely song with us.
~ Nicolette
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such deep expressions of love and devotion as this are few and far between.
i have found a love like this, so this piece speaks to me in her words
i read this poem, and it will make me dream of her tonight
thanks for this beautiful entry
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SO LOVELY AND SWEET!!!
Indeed very special words which move ones heart and soul!'s Just so touching and sweet.'s
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Beautifully put
Your poems are always so full of love.
Wonderful.
Jim
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Yes...this is very true..love is more than every thing I do agree especially when the poet is very beautiful in terms of the acceptances of the sentiments of the love ..I mean when the poet is poet by heart..well done..
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