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Wild Rides in Skies Left Untamed

The death of stars
breathing new skin,
adding layers of
dripped abstraction
only known to the dangerous.

Skies are ripped open
a hole for insomnia,
as lightning eats the wounded
bringing forest fury
among those who have strayed
in candy storm shoes, rainboots
for these cloud walkers.

Forcing the corrupt
to a restful place
as shadows lead the way to
long hulls of puzzled memories
of anything untamed and forgotten.

For our world is full of
cheery calamities,
these funktastic charms
of the season bringers,
being kind enough to let
kids be skeletons, playing
in a field of dreams and
carnavales.

Refusing to stay beautiful
for those who think
vomit is love and dark
things stay hidden.



Author notes

I used these titles:
Puzzled Memories, Funktastic Charms, Cheery Calamity, Vomit is Love, Eat the wounded, Cloud Walker, Candy Storm Shoes, Forest Fury, Season Bringer, The Corrupt,
A Restful Place, Shadows lead the Way, Insomnia, Stay Beautiful, The Death of Stars,
New Skin, Kids will be Skeletons, Carnavale, Dripped Abstraction.

Whew that was a lot of titles!
I love Deviantart

In a list

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Progandother
    January 3

    Edit | Reply

    ...indubitably...

    ...the thing that piqued my interest most about this poem was the rhythmic structure...the way I read it the first two lines of each stanza had a fixed rhythm and then it would tail off into something different...I've always loved music with shifting time signatures...and this twould be no different to that...

    ...also enjoyed the oxymoron "cheering calamities"...and just...the general whirlpoolyness of it...well that's the general perception I have of it anyway...

    ...but yeah I'm rambling...very good work...


    • badnovocaine
      January 4
      Edit | Reply
      Hey thank you for the comment. Was surprised I got one.

      • Progandother
        January 4
        Edit | Reply
        ...surprised you got one? It's fine really...you commented on about five of my poems so I'd be a pretty nasty goldfish if I didn't return the favour...

        • badnovocaine
          January 5

          Edit | Reply
          Nah I don't really expect people to comment on my poems. Its mainly because I am a really harsh judge on my work. And I find so many people on here that have major talent, like you.

          When people do comment I hope its because they wanted to read them not because I commented on theirs.
          I like to earn stuff

          • Progandother
            January 6
            Edit | Reply
            ...oh don't worry it's ok...you earned it...I enjoyed this poem very much...if I didn't comment it would be because I couldn't find anything to say for it...trust me...it's a good poem...

  • Mickie27
    November 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent...you write illuminating poetry...I love the last two lines
    vomit is love and dark
    things stay hidden.
    Where did that idea come from? It is genius!


  • lunarlunacy
    October 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    EFFING BRILLIANT! "cheery calamities,
    these funktastic charms
    of the season bringers" love the way this makes the transition. so dijunctured yet flowing, I followed this nonlinear bread trail all the way to the oven.

    • badnovocaine
      October 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Hey thanks, I liked the nonlinear bread trail all the way to the oven part!
      Never heard that one before haha. Such creativeness.
      Thank you.

1 - 8 of 8