Flowers scar your destiny
Forever they mark the answers to your question
To hold you back, push me away,
Make you choose the same wrong decision
As twilight falls upon my window seal
I smile as I am waiting
I live and breathe just like you my dear,
My message in short is clear
Don’t hold on to this future, counting peddles
For the odds and evens, only bring tears
Author notes
This was a word bank writing prompt
A contest entry
- -- Word Bank -- by Noir mariposa...x.
550 points, ended November 1, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what does this mean?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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beautiful
this was a really fantastic write. the words flow easily from the tip of my tongue and it leaves me thinking. I love the use of comparing two or more things to create contrast, the whole flower thing works really well. The only thing i might say is peddals should be petals but that doesnt matter so much. You are very talented i must say.
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Well it's obvious ur a writer!
For a prompt u did very well. Most people lose what they are talking about, changing subjects and moods. U r very good at saying what u want.
Thanks for the favorite pick. I will try to keep impressing u! Good luck with ur writes.
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Awww cute write ^^
I agree with Barrett's comment about the last two lines:
"Don’t hold on to this future, counting peddles
For the odds and evens, only bring tears" >> very nicely written
One thing though, is "peddles" supposed to petals? Just curious
Thank you for entering ^^
Claire x
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i like this one alot, dude. very good! my only beef is the first line- it just doesn't make sense to me. i think it's redundant. maybe try "flowers scar your destiny". again, artistic style. im not gunna tell you how to express yourself. haha. but again, this was great! good job all over especially the last 2 lines. a clincher indeed.
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Beautifully written with heartfelt expression.
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