The silence is deafening
But so is the sound
My thoughts hit the wall
And bounce to the ground
Life is but the water
Running from the tap
God hits the switch
And we all take a nap
Circles are forming
In the color of my eye
I can see clearly
But I don't know why
Some say it's a disease
And it's goin' around
I look at them funny
And say it's profound
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
screw my last comment.
MY favorite part, is "God hits the switch and we all take a nap".
It stikes me the strongest <3 -
-
Hmm. Well thanks for the change in heart I do suppose. Though, this is an exclusively emotional piece, if poetry can be exclusive, I mean, lol. And so I never assumed for many people to really comprehend it the way that I do or like it as well as I do. Thanks though, for the comment. =D
-
-
good buttt..
Maybe you should add more.
Otherwise good stuff. Good stuff.
-
Very strong first stanza, love the imagination here. The second stanza shows how God is in control of our lives, then the flooding emotion filling our eyes...Very good writing and deep thoughts here. Your poetry is evolving before my eyes.
alby 
-
-
Wow. Such a great comment. I have been nicely critiqued by the infamous alby, lol. I really appreciate what you have had to say. (gawh, doesnt sound like I hate words, does it? =P) I hope as you say, it keeps evolving. This is the most emotional piece I have written in a while.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
