He tossed it in Sunday, like
an Athiest; cheated wife, or
a rope-collar neck. Monday,
suitcases shouted from
vestibule as he reached
for them, eyes the poor
man's bowl; and I noted
the door's apparent
finality as it took him --
ran barefoot and begging down
the street, collapsed
at absence of brake lights.
Author notes
Despite the poem, I'm getting better! I think the thing that makes me feel has become quite obvious 
Thank you everyone who supported me 
I'M BACK, YAYYY! Comments soon 
In a list
A contest entry
- keep it close by the atlantic.
1750 points, ended November 10, 2008, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Care Factor: Zero.
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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you made it to week nine? i gave up that hoe after a week or two lol.. decided i'd rather feel like shit naturally. onto the poem itself, brilliant. love the 'an athiest; cheated wife or a rope-collar neck' and the last line was pretty sweet also. when i get home from work later i think i might read through some more of this series if you don't mind...lol maybe i'll go in order.
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You crack me up
Yeah, the first two weeks are shite (just wait until you read them)! Gets better though. I've totally divorced it now
With the exception of that one sleazy weekend 
I REPENT! 
And yeah, this was my favourite of them all!
Thanks
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I can only echo what my Guy said....every word and sentiment he expressed in his comment (he has the gift of the gab (and the pen)
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you be good, girl - and it's great to have you back - as beautiful and talented as ever
~ Nicolette
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Well, I really like it! The only thing I may suggest is to spell it "Atheist" instead of "Athiest" - but that may very well have been a typo. Anyway, change that and it's wonderful. You have some great imagery and the end of the poem sticks in the reader's mind like a hook. Well done!
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I feel like the glint of light
on wet dirty street
beneath streetlight's glare~
all wet and final
awash in dismal
but bouyed by the smile
of art
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regardless of whatever you may be going through, Allyce...the power and artistry of your writing shines through and dazzles this reader and fan.
always has...
take care of yourself...and you KNOW you have my and Nic's support
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Thank you
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Do not ever doubt yourself Allyce . . . it is so good to have you back with us . . .
Marc
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This is a good one indeed. I liked this part in particular:
ran barefoot and begging down
the street, collapsed
at absence of brake lights.
As grim and unpleasant as it is. This is the emotional capper that perfectly ends the rest of the poem -- again, in a very cold and angst-ridden way. Talent you have in excess.
Keep up all your good work. I am pleased to see you writing again because you are one of the best.
Garrison
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Nice to see you back and writing too, not been the same...this just sends shivers up your spine and that last line..whoa! But then some people I have known I doubt I would have turned a hair. C
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Thanks Sweetpea
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