Pain is like a sandstorm as your blinded as you choke,
in its innocence we wander, in its darkness we do soak.
Pain is like an eagle as it drops its bloody tears,
casting shadows on the land, on are countries greatest fears.
Pain is like a memory breaking hearts invading mind,
it wallows in deceit, in the shallowness of the kind.
Pain is like a tower with its stages and its floors,
it slithers through the hallways and the doorways with no doors.
Pain is like a person as they burden as they cry,
they have no hope, no understanding, all they want to do is die.
A contest entry
- Give me anything! by ASmileForYou.
560 points, ended December 16, 2008, 138 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Freedom, come to me! - - - (Depressive/Sad/Dark) by Ebbing.X.Discreetly.
700 points, ended December 28, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - loneliness by katie-jo.
550 points, ended February 16, 78 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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i really liked this but you should know that the colors are seriously hard to read.
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This is a great write! I especially like how you color coded the different lines. Very clever

Also, in the fourth line, i believe "are" is supposed to be "our". Other than that, It was great!


