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Drawn Out

Quite slowly I'm returning to where my thoughts should be
For somehow they've been hiding within the heart of me
I can't describe the feeling, the fear I felt today
That when I  left this morning, real cash I had to pay.

I sat, my mouth wide open, a victim in the chair
He drilled and pulled, I screamed out, he didn't really care
To him I was a nothing, a job he had to do
The face that he was wearing, said "time to go, we're through".

My knees were shaking badly, my body heat ran cold
All blood drained from the surface as deep shock took a hold
He should have took a moment to validate the shot
For numbness, think of nothing, I think that he forgot.

I sat for just a moment  and then I fled that space
The memories are haunting, the scene I can't erase
I'm sorry, I'm dramatic but if you want more proof
Just step up to his doorstep so he can take your tooth.

Author notes

I had a tooth taken out today and it was sheer butchery.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Heavens Child
    October 28, 2008

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    Well I must admit I haven't been to the dentist in 6 years. I absolutely hate them!!! I have never had a tooth pulled and I hope I never will. I hope you heal fast! Thank you for entering and best wishes.

  • Frailtee
    October 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Great

    God I can't identify more with this.
    On one trip to the dentist they literally beat it out of me.
    Thanks for this.


    • Gwenevere
      October 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thankyou.Yes, there must be an easier way.I am still having flash-backs today!!!!


  • Leonura
    October 24, 2008

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    oi, that sounds scary and painful! lol. I truly feel fer ye... this was so wonderful, truly made the reader feel fer ye and always smile.


  • April-gurl
    October 24, 2008

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    i loved it

    the flow it created was great i wrote a poem about the denist i have but it was crazy and werid lol but i love your


  • Frodofan silver member
    October 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Ha ha. I have never been to the dentist in my whole life, and with all the stories people tell me, I don't want to! This was no exception and fits well with the month's Halloween feeling.

    "All blood drained from the surface as deep shock took a hold"
    I thought maybe if you changed it to, "as deepest shock took hold" it might sound better. Just a thought.

    • Gwenevere
      October 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thankyou for yout comments.That shock did take a hold.With both hands, i can tell you .I can't believe we actually pay for the pain, Ros


  • Between My Ears
    October 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is really great! I love when somebody else is able to write about something I would consider minor and create something great out of it. And I also hate going to the dentist. This is great "I sat for just a moment and then I fled that space
    The memories are haunting, the scene I can't erase
    I'm sorry, I'm dramatic but if you want more proof
    Just step up to his doorstep so he can take your tooth." I especially like the very last line. The way it says step up to his doorstep and so he can take makes it sound more personal and less like a business, since doorstep makes me visualize a home and take makes it sound like you didn't ask for your tooth to be removed. Great Write!

1 - 8 of 8