She learned to hate me between staggered breaths of
passion and a cathartic reality of benign religion holding
my crucifix clenched between her teeth learning
god was never in the rain.
I always liked the way we died together
on back roads awash in autumn's blooming death
placid realities a stagnant reminder
of back seats and a drunken togetherness.
We laughed and cried careening sidewalks pointing
out flaws in beliefs and blurring faces held
close to the razor's edge by empty bottles and
perfect people swallowing our torn down hope.
I died between the walls of her smoke filled lust
dirty and cheap my divine angelic whore she
left her traces in scarred form down my back yet
it was her nature, nefarious and seductively suicidal
that delivered me beyond the abstract measure of love.
In a list
A contest entry
- Nature! by Kelsey-Jo.
700 points, ended November 7, 2008, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - & sometimes the prettiness never dies♥ by xxRainbowDawnxx.
400 points, ended December 30, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Interpret nature as you will.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Very raw and felt a little bit of bitterness here, maybe your own or some somebody else gave you. Some beautiful choice of metaphors in this piece.
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This piece is splendid! Intoxicating, hard rocking, mind blowing piece!
She learned to hate me between staggered breaths of
passion and a cathartic reality of benign religion holding
my crucifix clenched between her teeth learning
god was never in the rain.
I love it.
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Thank You.
Sometimes the words just spill out in all the right places...
.....and tho I smile everytime I read this I still wonder one thing, and that is who I wrote it for, if I will ever meet her...
lol
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"my crucifix clenched between her teeth learning
god was never in the rain."--- Loved that line second time through.
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Thank You.
Not quite the common perception of nature I know, but I figured with everyone else writing about dead leaves and such a change would be, pleasant.
Of course after reading through your Page, I was inspired.
Thank You for the Trophy....(that was my favorite line too...lol)
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very cool man
this really flows easy
like it was waiting for the words
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Thanks bro, is there anything you see that needs work?......
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perfect
but did you mean scarred instead of scared?
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I love the avenue down which this prompt has inspired you, and I love even more your perception of nature. Very unique train of thought, to be sure.
Thanks for the entry,
Kelsey-Jo
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