Sometimes i feel so alone.
And i just want to moan!
Somedays i dream of you.
But i know your so far away from me no matter what i do.
Your lost in your addictions, your drugs and alcohol.
And sometimes i want to lay on the floor and just bawl!
Daddy why would you make a promise to me?
A promise you couldn't keep.
I feel so let down.
And all i can do is lay on my bed, upset and depressed, facedown.
I sometimes feel like im not enough.
I'm not good enough for you.
I'm not worth it?
I feel insignificant like i mean nothing to you compared to that next hit!
Drugs are more important than me.
You might not see how much it hurts me.
But my heart is deteriorating into bits and pieces.
And i mean daddy do you ever even miss me?
Do you give a damn about me?
Sometimes i think you don't care.
Man this is so unfair!!!
You PROMISED me!!! You promised....
But here it is again my heart broken and yet i still wished.
I wished that this time would be different.
And that your promise would be kept!
Well i love you dad...
But I'm not sure anymore if you love me..... or if you love the drugs..............
Author notes
This was written for my father, who loves his drugs more than he ever loved me he did his drugs and still does... and guess where that got me? In foster care but i love my foster family 
A contest entry
- What Are You Feeling Inside? by Heavens Child.
550 points, ended October 28, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
tell me your favorite parts...
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
this is very sad but dont be angry with your father, anger just twists us up inside, some people are stronger than others and can fight against these things, your father obviously cant do that but it doesnt mean he does not love you, when he chose to experiment with drugs i am sure he did not want them to control his every waking moment and to put him through the physical and mental tortures that i am sure he has been/still is going through.
i am sure that your father does love you but he is just not strong enough to fight this thing, i hope that one day he will be but you have to be concentrating on your life not his, he is an adult and you are a child,now you must make your own way forward and use your past eperiences to help make you a better person so that you can one day make the right choices in your life ready for when you become a mother yourself, stay safe my dear you are well loved
-
first let me thank you for your time to comment on my poem... that made my day. second, let me encourage you that what you are going through is what God has planned for you... and it's only to protect you. and remember that every individual loves in their own way. your father loved you the only way that he could, but there are some things that only God can help us with. like his addiction. if your seperate his actions from who he is, then you can love him through his mistakes.
hugs,
phil -
Wow, alot of deep and raw emotions. It seems your dad is so engulfed in his own pain, he can't see past it to what he truly has. It seems no matter how much our family hurts us, we still love them. Take care. Best wishes and thank you for entering.
-
this is amazing sweety
keep it up
i love u sis
-
wow!!
absolutely AMAZING!!!
this is written beautifully..
i love how it just grasps my heart and wont let go
amazing is all i can say.
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
