Love's loss froze flesh to brittle bone
and pierced the night with sorrowed cry
while heart-blood bled its whispered moan
with questions, "why?"
Knowing love's care would soon depart
my daylight mingled with the night
and emptiness erased my heart
dimming life's light.
While ocean tides carried his name,
whispered caresses on each swell,
my languished soul asked who to blame
with my farewell.
My anger burned heart's path to love
with numbness pressing into me
keeping this woman devoid of
soft courtesy.
But subtle tunes carried heart's breath
raising a woman's wealth in me
to understand this pass to death;
to set me free.
As sunrise poked her sleepy eyes
past edged horizon's shadowed start
a gentle voice of compromise
lifted my heart.
Your earthy depth and guarded smile
held my attraction carefully,
and I with you would talk awhile;
shedding debris.
Your music played familiar song,
dragonfly dance in flickered light,
romantic moments, passion strong -
played our delight.
As your soft eyes held honesty
hoping your care meant something more -
my grieving heart, now lifted free,
opened its door.
Sunrise described as "hard to catch"
means more than just a rising orb;
its deeper meaning would dispatch
what I absorb.
Love's brilliance comes much like the sun
in lifting more than light from dark
with healing when the heart's undone;
striking warm spark.
Life's travels are the courses taught,
through painful vice's pinching clasp,
that stronger love with wisdom brought
within our grasp.
And as your hand gently takes mine
new love matures through smoke and dust
feeling the growth living defines
within life's thrust.
Author notes
Prompt: Hope springs eternal in the human breast.
In a list
A contest entry
- The Paragonian Challenge #4 by CitrineSunrise.
900 points, ended November 15, 2008, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Again glad to see a trophy on this masterpiece! Another one that settles deep in my heart.
Beautiful....
Kris
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Seems you like my true stores. This one was for one I hold so dear. Thank you so much. ~Pamela
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This is beautiful Pam, I love the soft rhyme and flow.The beauty and heart felt love is warming to the soul.Thank you for sharing this delightful form, you have done it justice.
Tony
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Thank you so much. I am pleased you enjoyed this piece. It is quite special to me and a form I absolutely love. Thank you again. ~Pamela
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I love rhyming forms!
I have not seen many sapphic odes. This is well conceived and very romantic. You carried the thought clearly through many stanzas. Another beauty to enjoy.
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Thank you. This one is near and dear to my herat. I am pleased you enjoyed it. Thank you again. ~Pamela
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Wow
Wow....this is a beautifully written piece. I loved the flow of your rhymes, just flawless. Well done and congrats on the silver trophy. I too should have been here last month but have been very busy.
Keep writing
Countrybabe
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Thank you so much. You are very kind with your words. Much much appreciated. ~Pamela
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Wow~
Now this is one Beauty of a verse and Your rhyme is so tight~ I went to read again
Love this!!
Form Excellent and I have yet to try it~
Message digs deep
These lines do also:
Life's travels are the courses taught,
through painful vice's pinching clasp,
that stronger love with wisdom brought
within our grasp
Sorry I am late on the comment~
Should have been here last month
Congratulations on Your Trophy win!
-Throws confetti-
Woooooooooo Hoooooooooooo
Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet One
Best wishes too
with much love & light~ Desire~*~
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Thank you so much. This was a very special poem for me. I appreciate your kind words so much. Thank you. ~Pamela
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Lovely
I do adore this. It has the flavour of the old poets whom i hold dear to my heart. Well done poet!
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Thank you so much. I am pleased you enjoyed this. ~Pamela
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The style is reminiscent of Pope's "Ode to Solitude" although I hadn't thought of it as a Sapphic Ode. The first line was stunning and set the tone for the entire poem. This is a powerful, yet gentle, story of lost love and the healing power of the right person. Your interpretation of the contest prompt was perfect as who among us does not continue to wish for lasting love. Thank you for your entry. Peace, Liz
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Liz
Thank you so much for your wonderful review and the honor of silver in your contest. I fell in love with Sapphic Ode (Pope Style) when first introduced to me by Jeff Green (Cricket Jeff). I could not think of a better way to honor your contest, and Pope than with this form.
Thank you again. ~Pamela
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You did a wonderful job writing this in relation to the prompt. I enjoyed reading the whole piece but the last stanza really captured my attention. Good luck in the contest dear and thanks for sharing with us.
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Thank you so much. ~Pamela
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This is a very nicely written poem where I see a lot of imagery used as well as emotions. You have done an excellent job telling your story. The poem flows extremely well and keeps the readers interest. Thanks for sharing this with us.
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Thank you so much. I am so pleased you enjoyed this Sapphic Ode. ~Pamela
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A write such as this truly makes one appreciate the beauty of an ode. A narration strong that changes scenery and shading from loss and anger
to renewal and hope. I especially felt:
"Your music played familiar song,
dragonfly dance in flickered light" as it conveys a connection that extends past the amount of time known; a suggestion of trust that can not be dismantled for long. Blue
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You pulled my two favorite lines from this piece. Thank you so much. You are good to me my friend. Thank you. ~Pamela
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A beautiful story told in flowing language that entwines around ones heart and lifts it up in the end. Not to some unrealistic plane but to a real ending and a hopefully happy beginning. Well done and good luck in the contest.
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Thank you so much. I am pleased you enjoyed this Sapphic Ode. ~Pamela
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Beautiful poem and so many turns! Good luck in the contest!
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Thank you so much. It is always a pleasure to see your words on my verse. Much much appreciated. ~Pamela
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you are...
Hell it is I, not you,
who must bid a gracious bow,
for all the songs I've sung
none are as sweet as this.
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Thank you, though I am a bit partial to your songs.
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outstanding love
poem. Sweetly penned with such a flowing rhythmic tone to it that i was actually singing it to a tune that popped in my head..
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Richard
Thank you so much my friend. I am so pleased you enjoyed this Sapphic Ode. ~Pamela
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Astounding
Very nice write, I loved the entire mix of ways you put things into different perceptions. Good luck in the contest you have entered. -
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Thank you so much for your kind words. I am so pleased you enjoyed this. ~Pamela
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