Sing me a deadly lullaby,
Make it soft and sweet,
hypnotize me,
mesmerize me,
put this broken heart to sleep,
Let me close my eyes,
and rest inside your arms,
bewilder me,
confuse me,
let me open up my heart
feed me lies
and pour me tears,
you're my new addiction,
I've found my new obsession
I'm all yours.
Whats the first emotion that hits you? Whats the most powerful emotion you feel?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
The first thing that hits me from this write is a bittersweet sacrasm. I can see the emotions in it....the rather subtle end-line rhyme...the quiet voice that sounds sweet but carries a poison underneath. Lovely.
-
confusion. I'm not really effected by the emotion put into it. Although it has strong conotations of heart break and sadness...of maybe a certain kind of running away. I don't know but..it doesn't seem deep enough (for me) to sink into and disapear. Still good. Keep working.
-
"desperate lust and aching need"-emotion per author
notes....well done! your flow is perfection!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
and by the way....what a great contest that would be...
we should do it....
PROMPT: write a dark lullabye...with your poem as the
prompt!
Let me know....if you want to do this....
GREAT WRITING POET!
ears/Seattle
-
-
Prompt?
If you want to use my poem for a prompt go ahead. =] I would be honored.
-
-
this is lovely & softly sad. i can feel the longing in it. the last like 6 or 7 lines are great, especially the last 2.
-
Recognition.
I think everyone does this, or thinks this at some point. I felt that I knew exactly what you were writing about. Wonderful write.
-
That is a great description of something we all do. Gluttons for punishment sounds like the perfect list for this.
I love this part,
"let me open up my heart
feed me lies
and pour me tears,
you're my new addiction,
I've found my new obsession
I'm all yours"
Great write, so much emotion.
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
