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Rose Petals

Rose peddles on in her polka-dot dress
She keeps the pace and she couldn't care less
At her neighbors, she waves kindly
No one sees the car swerve blindly
The driver tried, but didn't miss
Rose peddles on, too late, she's hit.
She's caught off guard and thrown aside
The driver looks like he's lost his mind
He looks back once then hits the gas
No one knows how long she'll last
The ambulance roars on down the road
It's too late poor Rose is cold

Rose petals on the church's floor
To signify what we have no more
The little girl so full of love
Taken away by someone above
Her parent's cry over what they lost
And their poor girl's hopes and dream were tossed
All because a young man thought it clever
to drink and drive for his endeavor
Now there is no more, there is no glory
The poor little girl had too short a story

He was found days later at the scene of the crime

It was realized then he would do no time

The guilt he felt was just too great

He took his life with guilt and hate

The bullet went straight through his brain

But nothing will ever be the same

 

Rose petals fall beneath flowers and thorns

She will never be forgotten though all is forlorn

Author notes

Don't die, live life

D e m o i c C h a n e l 4 2 0

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 18 of 18
  • Blank

    Ban alcohol already for fucks sakes!
    Legalize weed and get rid of all the aches!!

  • "peddles" should be 'pedal'

    thanks for the entry. it was a nice read


  • Symphony
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    Ahh, that was ingenious, calling the main person in the story Rose, and then having Rose Peddles in the poem itself - I was thinking [fell right into your trap!]

    "aha, spelling mistake" but you proved me wrong

    Such a sad, sad story, and one that is being repeated all over the world today, a few times each day perhaps - it seems that even though police are trying to crack down on drink driving, the problem is only getting worse -

    you phrased this well though particularly the guilt of the driver although i am saddened that he killed himself, and at her own spot where she too was knocked down.

    Nice job though, and thanks for entering

  • Symphony
    January 7

    Edit | Reply
    Ahh, that was ingenious, calling the main person in the story Rose, and then having Rose Peddles in the poem itself - I was thinking [fell right into your trap!]

    "aha, spelling mistake" but you proved me wrong

    Such a sad, sad story, and one that is being repeated all over the world today, a few times each day perhaps - it seems that even though police are trying to crack down on drink driving, the problem is only getting worse -

    you phrased this well though particularly the guilt of the driver although i am saddened that he killed himself, and at her own spot where she too was knocked down.

    Nice job though, and thanks for entering


  • broken-colours
    November 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That is extremely sad, awwws. :[ What a story you've woven, between "Rose peddles" and "rose petals"... wow. Clever, rhyming, heart-breaking... has everything! I loved this.

    Thanks for entering.


  • Miss Chievous
    November 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thats very sad,
    but wonderful poem!

    Good luck

  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    November 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your most heartfelt entry, Josie


  • Ryno
    November 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    sad, heartaching, but
    not feeling it
    ~prewrites, come and get them


  • Chelse-Oh
    November 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love the play on words 'petals' and 'pedals' great job. Thanks for entering. ~Chelsey

  • poets whisper silver member
    November 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Odd, this piece is heart wrenching and yet things like this happen every day and we get numbed to them. I listen to the news and hear about drive-bys and accidents where children have been killed. I feel sad for a time, but it doesn't linger. The things that confront us daily have become too commonplace. Thank you for the entry


  • BabyBun silver member
    November 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful, sad and poignant.


  • just weak hands
    November 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh gosh ! this was certainly sad ! the emotion is so apparent, and incredibly clear. your poem screams a message that everyone should listen to. this is what people need to read in order to drill some sense into their senseless heads.

    i also love the rhyme, and the flow was great. the last two sentences really hit home hard...

    i'm guessing you chose option 1, but i'm not entirely sure. could you please put what option you chose in your AN ? thanks

    best of luck in my contest and thanks for entering !!


  • Jaffa-
    October 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    You need to put your ap name in the author notes please.
    This poem really tore me up inside. it was an absolutly amazing read and the amount of emotion was unmatched my any others i have read so far. It was a wonderful poem that really took me off my feet. well done and good luck in all the contests including mine


    • DemonicChanel420
      October 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your comment, I really appreciate it when people tell me what they think of what I write, I'm glad you liked it. I put my ap name in my author notes now, so I think that's all. Thanks again for your comment!


  • Rhythm Child
    October 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i loved this ! so original, so thoughtful, brilliant poem, i love to read NEW things and this has certainly not been done before
    great poem !


  • BleedingBlackTears
    October 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    also i love panic at the disco

  • BleedingBlackTears
    October 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    some mistakes are"peddles" should be "pettals" and "too shory a story" should be too short a story. i love love love love love it. well done good luck

    • DemonicChanel420
      October 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the advice, sometimes I go too fast and don't notice my mistakes, should be better now I think though lol.

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