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Have You Ever Felt This Way?

I'm lost and forgotten in a world so cold
needing someone’s hands to hold.

Feeding on the Bible and its light
I discover wrong from right.

Reading Genesis 1:1
I discover the beginning of life.

Going north, south, east, and west
I discover nothing but strife.

Where is the light?
Where could it be?

Wait a minute!
God is shinning a light on me.

How do you feel about this?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Topaze
    October 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This was a nice piece, keep up the writing, my best wishes.


  • Shela Okeefe
    October 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks

  • harriet567
    October 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Good subject for a poem - yes it could be improved to make it less abrupt. The last line - spelling should be shining, I think. A great message you bring - maybe use longer verses, not just 2 lines?