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She Pretended...

In the stupor of yesterday
she sighed with only a move
drifting in the memory of a kiss
given from different lips.

Recapturing the sway of body
light moved in and smiled on
the words whispered to a star
before a feather fell beside a
pillow stained with tears.

Turn away from the painful expression of truth,
hands slipped apart with a good-bye touch
while skin smoothed away in the distance
as only actors do.

The world stood still as she dreamed
of arms that held a tender moment
standing in the rain as smiles bloomed
she touched and it fell to pieces.


Eyes stay shut as reality intrudes
pretending like she's now used to

another day to be another girl...

 

 

Author notes

Picture Prompt

A contest entry

...

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • Gods child40 silver member
    September 19

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    very beautiful! my favorite part The world stood still as she dreamed
    of arms that held a tender moment
    standing in the rain as smiles bloomed
    she touched and it fell to pieces


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    January 21

    Edit | Reply
    this is absolutely wonderful, the imagery is excellent. Congratulations on the Gold Trophy.
    This is a very beautiful poem, one that I can sit here & read again and again.

    kat


  • MissyYates
    November 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing Imagery!

    The Imagery is excellent. I can picture every move the girl makes in this piece as well as imagine how she feels. I love how your discriptions and relations flow as poetry and sound less like fact as so many do. Great Job!

     ~Missy~


  • mysticstorm gold member
    November 16, 2008

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    Beautiful from start to finish, yet the fourth stanza is excellent and I had to read it again...it stands strong alone...excellent as always...best to you, dear poetress.
    mystic


  • briareus gold member
    November 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Softness of pretending -- moving, merging revealing its colors like formations of clouds in an expanse of sky -- dissolves solidity as personal intimate self refracts its contact with equally elusive other.


  • KayJay
    November 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You've a gentle touch with your words, painting a wistful picture of hope and longing.... Beautiful in structure, warm in imagery, and surely deserving of recognition... well done and best of luck.
    Ken


  • PerVirtuous
    November 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Oh my! Straight to the finalist list!


  • Wolfdog silver member
    November 2, 2008

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    Excellent

    A very fine write, indeed. You've expressed yourself quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us.


  • thejollytinker
    November 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Just explosive- hit me everywhere. Gonna have to clean up around here...


  • Papabear 4 Rosered
    October 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Melancholy magic

    Beautiful imagery of a sad song. Well writen. Good luck in the contest


  • Exit-Stage-Right
    October 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It was fun to read the poem first and then look at the picture. In my mind's eye, she was standing next to a bed, eyes downcast, arms wrapped around herself missing the kiss and touch of yesterday's encounter. How interesting to find her lying in bed basking in the diffused ambience of comfort.

  • goalsv
    October 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A very sensual look into the picture, very deep and emotional. Very nice flow from stanza to stanza.


  • RadioPJ
    October 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    gosh this grabs me up ~
    Ah " the world stood still as she dreamed" -- all lovely.

  • yeckerah
    October 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    nice write

    good job.
    keep it up!


  • Super-man
    October 27, 2008

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    WOW

    The world stood still as she dreamed
    of arms that held a tender moment
    standing in the rain as smiles bloomed
    she touched and it fell to pieces.


    Just a small look into a perfect world.

    Awesome.


  • Mr Majenta gold member
    October 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    that second to last stanza got me, right when it says the woorld stood still i could feel everything just stop, the mood changed from metaphore and intangible feeling, to just a quick snapshot of the world. this was a beautiful poem

    -Maj


  • Yah-rod
    October 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Entrancing. The second-last stanza is the crux, and flows like a reflection in a pool of rainwater soon to dry. There's a quiet agony in your words, and if this was inspired by a prompt then I don't want to look at the pic in case it spoils the illusion you've created.

    'Recapturing the sway of body...pillow stained with tears" is very resigned and simple, but serene in the way you've used the words.

    The ending is sad, but of course leaves us feeling hopeful.

    Nice piece


  • Dalaney gold member
    October 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    simply beautiful.
    love, lane

1 - 20 of 20