I am the cutter
and you are my blade
when anger strikes me
you release me from the hate
When I am depressed
or down in the dumps
I become numb to everything
but you help me feel what I don't
Blade,
you sting acrossed my fleash
like a pinch of exitement I can not express
It feels so great
but I know it's not
but I can't help it
its not my fault
One quick movement back wards
and I hear the zing of your voice
my skin slowly opens
and crimson flows to the floor
my emotions were once bottled inside
but they are now pouring out releasing each emotion
I never liked to show on the outside
Blade,
You have been my truest friend
when everyone left me
it was you I found again
Its not that easy sometimes
when I try to resist
but you help me through it all
so I just deal with it
Its not easy living everyday
debating on when to play with you again
or if next time will be my last time
and I will have bled out all emotion because of it
but blade we have been together for six years now
without you I feel like everything is gone
cutter,
blade has helped you through it all
he has controlled everything inside you
and your not sure what you feel now anytime now at all
you have to tell blade he is controlling your life
you must take imediate action and talk to him
before he controls your next slice
Cutter,
its been six years since you started
its been an adventure
through rehab and suicides
but your not only hurting yourself
your hurting those around you
so think about it before blade consumes you
Through everything you two have been through
you will have to draw the boundries
who is in charge of you
and what blade is doing
remember it is your life
and blade is just your friend
no need to worship his controlling mind games
for blade will hurt you in the end
through anything and everything you two will go through
there is one thing you truly must know
its not that simple because he knows how to play you
but you must always remember that
You are the cutter and he is just your way of coping.
Author notes
*cutter.
I have been in and out of rehab since age 12 for cutting. I have had 6 suicide attempts and when I think I am finally ok now that I am 18 I have to think again as I am placed with a bad spot in life and I am using the blade to cope again.
A contest entry
- food for thought- ♥- cutters, noncutters, and ex-cutters by Immortal Obscurity.
875 points, ended November 10, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Goes! by Karra-Mayy.
1600 points, ended November 21, 317 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
please give me your honest opinion on what you truly think of this piece I will return the favor...*muah* (redhanded)
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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amazing...!
i totally feel where your coming from
i've been there myself, not for as long but i have.
if you ever need to talk im told im a great listener and great at giving advice
i'd love to talk to you x
great write!
keep penning ! x
btw,
welcome to the finalist list -
This is a really strong piece. Your emotions are extremely intense, and the description of the relationship between the blade and the cutter is really powerful. Thanks for entering.
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Good write, seems like an eternal dance with the blade, a relationship that neither has a say in completely. As with partners in a relationship, both agree to this bloody compromise. I love the use of personification, indeed the blade sometimes has its own agenda. Well penned.
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Such a good write.. Makes me feel the pain that you feel. surround yourself with good people ( like me lol) and everything will get better.. I love ya babe
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spelling mistakes:"blade, you string acrossed (should be across) my fleash (should be flesh). "one quick movement blackwards and i hear the zing of your voice" fabulous personification and onomatapeia. "and your not sure what you feel now anytime now at all" a little confusing could be better strung. its a great piece effective and honest i love it keep up the great work. x
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thank you very much for your comment. and seeing as how i wrote this early in the morning and hand't slept I am just glad there isnt more spelling errors but thank you for pointing them out i greatly appreciate that. In all thank you for your comment and best of luck to you in the future and with your writing.
andi.
(redhanded)
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i think we all can judge, first off, but i can't feel anything but distaste for the idea of someone cutting themselves, and i did it as a teen. it was pain, and thou i still feel like i did then, i haven't touched the blade since. I have a strong and i mean strong loathing towards myself that causes me to just want nothing but to hurt myself, in the drink, in choking myself, but cutting that was the torture of choice for me, i do something bad i would cut, i do something good, i would cut. i got smarter over time, i knew where to hide the cuts, i never put words on me, but as i read this poem, i guess i saw a little of myself, i guess that is whay i hold distaste for the idea i am not sure, but i can only say that when you are ready you will put that blade down, it is a hard thing to quit the pain or the pleasure of the release, but from reading this i can see something, strong then the blade, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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Thank you very much for taking the time out to read my entry. Cutting is a hard thing for me since I have used it alot of years to cope...for some people it is easier than others to stop and for some people it just never helped at all when they did try, but for me it helped and I still use it to this very day. Thank you again for you comment and applause and best of luck to you in the future and with your writing.
Andi
(redhanded)
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I'm so sorry to hear that you've relapsed, though you've done a good job of identifying the feelings and situations that trigger the urge to cut. I truly believe that, with the right amount of support and a caring group of friends, that you'll be able to throw away the blade for good.
I love the idea here. Even though I've never cut myself, the conversation between cutter and blade makes this very personal, and it puts me right in the darkest recesses of the cutter's mind. Just a little polishing (ie spelling, grammar), and you could easily have something of epic proportions. I thank you for your honesty, and for entering my contest; if you ever need to talk to someone, please message me.
Laura
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Thank you for your kind words and review of my poem. Thank you again very much.
Best of luck to you in the future and with your writing.
andi
(redhanded)
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