There is no way to fully expose what's lost
Colors dim and fade away, entirely cease to be.
Eyes can process but not fully comprehend the monotony.
The brain and soul painfully decline and waste away
Breathing and heartbeats abate.
Life is a sad, pathetic, pale shadow
Of what it was and will be again.
Your intoxicating presence consumes me.
The clouds roll away and life is renewed.
Leaves and flowers regain their hue.
My thoughts are unscrambled.
My blood begins to boil in these moments.
Your touch is an electric shock
To my nearly still heart.
For these days, these hours, these minutes
I am sweetly, gloriously revived...
Until the very millisecond I lose sight of your face.
And the cycle begins again.
Author notes
This is a tribute to the somewhat long distance relationship I'm in. It's not a terribly large distance, but we are incapable of seeing each other sometimes for weeks. The longest stretch is right now, it's looking like three weeks before we get to be together again. (I apologize if this seems whiney or pathetic to anyone reading this. I fully understand and can appreciate that there are relationships much more strained than three weeks of not seeing each other; for example, military relationships.)
I'm having a hard time with this though, and this poem is my way of expressing it.
UPDATE FOR CONTEST:
This is option 3.
A contest entry
- Options contest by FleetingImage.
500 points, ended November 23, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites Only by wingsofgold25.
700 points, ended January 28, 75 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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very well written and yes Poetry is a good way to get things out in the open and you did a good job Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest.
ED. -
How sad! I'm rooting for you. Long distance relationships are really hard to keep up. But I hope you make it. One little note: "monotony" not "monotiny."
I like the way you expressed the sadness you feel when he's gone AND the happiness when he's there. Again, the ending might be worked on. I think it would be a lot better if instead of for the second to last line having the long wording you could only say until I lose sight of your face. That would make the last line a lot less awkward.
Very well done. Keep writing because I really do enjoy your poems -
such a sad write you have given me to read but i really like this...good luck.
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YOUR SO OBSSESED!!!! Lol I still love you and it was still a great peice of poetry, i enjoyed it very much so.
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That is so good. I've never realy been in a long distance relationship but thats exactly how i imagine it would be if you truely loved them.
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