Do you remember?

Have you ever thought that
everyone around you was nothing
the creation of a deprived mind
and that you were the only thing living
in this world left completely alone?
Have you ever looked at someone
and seen nothing but another face
like a hundred others in this life
and wondered if they see you the same way?
Have you ever thought about
how many people are on this earth
and wondered if you were nothing more
in that huge seven digit figure,
nothing more than one,
a number that means nothing
in the picture of things.

Do you remember when the world revolved
around the games we played?
I remember when all life was
was a collection of dreams but now it seems;
that everything is falling apart around me
toppling and crumbling until it is nothing,
nothing like the life that I led,
just a memory.

Do you know what it’s like
to wonder how long you’ll get to stay
being afraid to see the moving truck
feeling like a prisoner in your parents game?
Watching them as you are dragged away
trying to burn their faces into your mind
knowing you will never see them again
and that it will all slip away into nothingness.
Being the new kid every couple years
the one who never finds their place and if they do
then again the truck comes and it all goes away
another memory to clog up the mind
another pain to remind
afraid of seeing that truck in the drive,
afraid of saying goodbye.

Do you remember when the world revolved
around the games we played?
I remember when all life was
was a collection of dreams but now it seems;
that everything is falling apart around me
toppling and crumbling until it is nothing,
nothing like the life that I led,
just a memory.

Have you ever heard that voice in the back
of your mind telling you that it’s going to happen again?
That they’ll all leave, betray, abandoned, neglect
that life is nothing but disappointments
so put an end to it before it becomes too much.
Holding yourself back from building more regret
trying to understand why you haven’t died yet,
hiding the tears, the sobs, and the pain
so that you won’t be sent back the doc again.
Living in your head to deal with reality
a world that only you can understand.
avoiding reality in an attempt to put an end
to the wondering, the pain, the fear.
Avoiding crowds, people, and anxiety
because you are afraid of what always come
afraid of being hurt and suffering another broken heart.

Do you remember when the world revolved
around the games we played?
I remember when all life was
was a collection of dreams but now it seems;
that everything is falling apart around me
toppling and crumbling until it is nothing,
nothing like the life that I led,
just a memory.

Do you know what it’s like
to feel like a refugee lost in the night,
trying to find your place in the world
and when you do watching it unfurled.
Crying yourself to sleep then swearing
it will never happen again,
that you won’t let anyone get close enough,
to leave you in the dark with lies,
only letting you momentarily see the light
then shoving you away so that once more your alone,
alone in the world that you don’t belong in.
Nothing but another soul crushed into the dirt
left as a statistic in this cruel, cold world.

Do you remember when the world revolved
around the games we played?
I remember when all life was
was a collection of dreams but now it seems;
that everything is falling apart around me
toppling and crumbling until it is nothing,
nothing like the life that I led,
just a memory.

Do you remember when it all made sense
and we weren’t all just numbers
left on our own to fend…