Trying to avoid temptation?
Your defenses are futile,
I can seduce you with only my wits,
Give to you pieces,
Until you reliquish your whole self to me.
Trying to escape the inevitable?
You've the mind of a child,
I've grown tired of playing your petty games.
My strength is something you cannot fathom.
Trying to undermine defeat?
Perhaps I'll be swift in my task,
Show you mercy when you never thought it possible.
I can promise you'll regret what you've said this hour.
You have lost your appeal, puppet.
A beauty like mine never fades.
This mistress will tempt you, tear you apart,
Until every limb on your worthless body trembles with delight.
Control me, show me blood.
Attack me, puppet;
Carry me to heights that blind, while still you see.
I am more wonderful in the darkness of the night.
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
-
Again, this is such an exceptionally well done piece of purple poetry, with certainly a most distrubing maturity. I loved it a ton! bravo... bravo...
-
It's so dark...
I can't even read the words...blood on black...
Like the colourless track...
of your mind
meet me in the shed out back
bring all your evil schemes
and whatever else
that fuels your desire
feeds your kind
I'm laid out stripped bare
Attack me, take me down
I don't scare
Truth or dare, I'm wherever you may care
to find me...
Evil twin, I am your sin
You don't have to remind me
-oOo-
Loved your poem to pieces
So dark,
it really lit my spark
-
-
You're wonderful, thank you so much for your lovely comment!
It made my day.
-
-
an amazing piece. i love this. and normally i don't read much dark poetry. but this was beautifuly written, i can see so much talent here. and again i absolutly love it. congrats
-
Hey
I was expecting something more Poe-like. If you set out to epitomise arrogance you succeeded. -
Seducing
Trying to undermine defeat?
Perhaps I'll be swift in my task,
Show you mercy when you never thought it possible.
I can promise you'll regret what you've said this hour.
I like this poem. The power of teaching someone "A lesson" when they are at the mercy of your will. It's oddly sexy and seducing. I have to disagree with strider. This write isn't weird to me at all and I think you did a wonderful job trying to enforce yourself by giving yourself the upper hand.
And this also reminds me of Phantom Of The Opera.
Best Regards,
Holly
Comments are returned. -
Superb
A rather wierd write, however you've expressed yourself very well, indeed. Thanks for sharing this one with us. I also wrote a poem entitled Puppets, with a very different theme. Here's a link if you would like to read it: http://allpoetry.com/poem/2276250
-
A poem with a lot of potential. Definitely.
It just seems so wordy..
-
This is great. The perspective this is written from is differenbt than any poetry of this sort of topic I've read before. My favorite stanza was: "You have lost your appeal, puppet.
A beauty like mine never fades.
This mistress will tempt you, tear you apart,
Until every limb on your worthless body trembles with delight.
Control me, show me blood.
Attack me, puppet;
Carry me to heights that blind, while still you see." It leads to the final sentence perfectly. The strong feeling of dark negativity does not leave throughout the entire poem and creates a slightly dark feeling inside of me just reading it. I like this though, how the emotion comes across so clearly. -
Ah, raise the curtains,. let the show begin,
pull on his heaertstrings and make him dance, and if he tells a lie something only grows shorter, as the audience of one, you laughs uproariously...lol~~artis -
Hello Ligeia.
I think this is written well, the scorn and contempt is apparent, and there are some good lines in this. I also like the verbal slap downs, although I do admit to wondering what the puppet did to instigate such a response in the first place.
There must have been something, obviously, for a strong negative to be created within you, but then I am inquisitive and nosey, hahaha. On a personal note, I would have liked to have read a longer version, but then I do like long, haha.
I see you have just joined AllPoetry, so I wish you well, and hope you get what you want from this place.
My regards.
-
-
Thank you so much for your comment!
It means a lot to me.
This was written about an Ex of mine, he didn't treat me so well.
I don't mind your inquisitive nature, in fact I appreciate it.
I'm glad you care enough to read and question my motives.
Next time I will write something longer, if it pleases you.
Once again, many thanks.
<3
-
-
I am more wonderful in the darkness of the night. All things usually are! Interesting poem...Puppet. Nice flow. ~Sie
Adding your comment:
1 - 13 of 13
