Look at ME like that? Give me that sneer?
Think you know what’s inside my head.
Judge not, reproach not, don’t give in to fear.
Realise that it’s YOUR soul that’s dead.
Don’t laugh or snigger, don’t point or pout.
Don’t think that you know it all.
Open up, relax, let your true self come out,
Just smile and say “Fuck ‘em all!”
It doesn’t matter what I smoke, how I vote, who I fuck,
How I live, what I buy, what I eat.
Just decide for yourself, make your own luck.
It’s up to you to rise to your feet.
Don’t bay like a dog (even wearing lipstick).
Don’t try to piss on the parade.
Look inside, don’t be such a dipstick.
Judge yourself and then make the grade.
The sooner you deal with that beam in your eye,
Instead of mocking my mote.
The sooner you’ll learn that we all can fly,
If you just grab life by the throat.
Author notes
This slam poem was inspired by “Judge Yourself” http://allpoetry.com/poem/4709075 by a newcomer to AP MissErinMichelle, please go and take a look at her poem.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Wow, love it, love it, love it! Awesomeness in poem form!
My favorite part has to be:
It doesn’t matter what I smoke, how I vote, who I fuck,
How I live, what I buy, what I eat.
Just decide for yourself, make your own luck.
It’s up to you to rise to your feet.
Incredible, simply incredible!
Baahltres
~.~Yvonne~.~ -
this is very strong, very powerful and i really did enjoy this. maybe it wasn't erotica as was required but i am glad that i saw this.
spelling/grammar=20
presentation=20
grab me=20
how well you handled challenge=17
overall=18.50
total=95.50 -
This is well written and the strength from the other is also seen here in yours. You have done good. Wish you had done the erotic, as you are a Master at it.
Riftkin
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Okay so to score this. I would love to give it 150 because it is BRILLIANT, but I have to go by the challenge.
Spelling/ grammar/ punctuation: 20
Creativity/ presentation: 20
How well you handled the challenge: 15
This was not erotic.
Grab me effect: 20
Overall: 18.75
Total: 93.75 -
Tattboy;
After reading both this poem and the one that inspired this I feel you did an exceptional job with this. The only flaw is that you did not keep it erotic.
Your work is always top-notch and this is no exception.
spelling/grammar/punctuation-20
presentation/creativity-20
how well you handled the challenge-15
Had this been erotic you would have definately scored perfection here.
"grab me" effect (how much did we enjoy reading this piece)-20
Definately a piece that grabs ones attention and is well worth a read.
overall-18
Total-93
**Master Ktulu**
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A dog with lipstick ... mmm now where have I heard that before? I loved this piece.
Loved the stanza:
It doesn’t matter what I smoke, how I vote, who I fuck,
How I live, what I buy, what I eat.
Just decide for yourself, make your own luck.
It’s up to you to rise up to your feet.
I love the biblical references too. this was a piece with so many layers and nuances. Definitely worthy of you!
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Very good write. This had a great flow and it makes me think of how people shouldn't let life pass them by because there are so many things they could do, so many possibilities awaiting them in the future. People just have to believe in themselves. Thanks for sharing and keep that pen flowing.
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Jeez a LOOOONG time since I heard from you. How you doing?
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Thank You
I'm proud to be linked to this excellent poem. It's strong and truthful. I just play around with thoughts and words, but I love to read what a gifted writer like yourself thinks. -
Yes, very well done. I read the poem that inspired you, too. Good work from both of you.
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You're an awsome writter.
I love "It doesn’t matter what I smoke, how I vote, who I fuck,/How I live, what I buy, what I eat.
Just decide for yourself, make your own luck."
I agree with this 100%. I just wish everybody else would...Great job!!
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Thanks a lot for your comment, I am glad that the poem said something to you
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