Nude,
my sheets no substitute for touch.
My breast rose then fell
a rhythm once shared in rest.
The ceiling never seemed so close…
before these eyelashes
fluttered damp upon my cheek.
Darkness highlighting the sound
a solemn drum beating…
my pulse pleading…
for the quick rhythm,
only stirred by two bodies
silent languages.
In a list
A contest entry
- What Are You Feeling Inside? by Heavens Child.
550 points, ended October 28, 2008, 20 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give ME EMOTION by Violent Glass.
700 points, ended January 29, 101 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
-
excellent
Powerful penned words here sis
Beautiful but also somewhat sad
Congrats on the Bronze Trophy
Love ya
Your sis
Susan~~~
I have up some new ones drop by when ya cand
-
wonderful!
for the quick rhythm,
only stirred by two bodies
silent languages." extremely beautiufu thought provoking lines.
-
Deeply moving lonliness...the kind that makes a groan express itself, without taking a breath. Exquisitely painful! Beautiful poetry is not a stranger to you.
-
If this was the bronze of this contest I have to see the gold!
[Insert more flattery here] -
You made me feel the aloneness...very good.
-
-
Thank you
-
-
Silent language speaks in volumes..express in huge manners..very thoughtful love you shared ...thank you so much for the piece you wrote...
-
this is so sad
its so amazing -
Your imagery is truly incredible. I loved it all!
My favorite part is the title, for some strange reason. I think it works beautifully
-
yES!!!! BEAUTIFL DEAR!
-
It's the silence in the night that can't conquer the urge of having someone close, i know the feeling oh so well. C
-
A sad and sorrowful piece written with much beauty. This certainly stirs the emotions. Thank you for sharing.
-
Beautiful imagery and deep sadness which touches the soul...you have a gentle way with dark...well done.
Best,
mystic
-
beautiful
wonderful imagery, very nicely written. Yes I know sleeping after needs work ... I wrote it in about 3 min.s when I loged on today... and sugestions.. love your writing and would appreciate any input. Kat -
This is just beautiful hun... There is something about sadness that soothes the soul, even as the heart lie breaking. I agree with Mark, even if saying that makes me go WTF
lol - had to end that on a funny. You know I adore you!!! AND your poetry!
-
You've composed a powerful stirring of emotion. This is put together brilliantly. Best wishes and thank you for entering.
-
Wow...
This was powerful.
You too sweet and sexy to be alone.
-
Beautifully touching and uniquely sorrowful; this reaches through the page and seeps softly into the minds of the reader enchanting them
Best of Luck!
♥
Stay safe
Love to You
~Manda
-
WOW
This reads like a five minute clip of a tearjerker movie.. sad, but excellently penned!
-
I can feel your heart beat here in Virginia
feel it languishing alone in the dark.
I not only read this, but feel it.
Well written
-
This is simply beautiful. Personal intense and yet clear in intent. You are bringing yourself to a differnt level of excellence here
-
such lovely opening & ending lines...
you are able to write about your sadness with such beauty - i wish i could do that...
-
Longing
And the need for a gentle rhythm of two bodies. Such memories now serve to torture the mind in an empty bed. But There is a star not to far off poet. With your name on it.
-
Powerful
Oh my you truly rip at the heart with this one. So very intense. I do hope writing it helps. Best of luck in the contest.
-
oh, sister, I feel so sad for you, I hate that you must feel this way.
-
Oh My! Well Done !!!
You do stir passion.
Best wishes in life and the contest
Pa Pa
Adding your comment:
1 - 26 of 26
