Ostentatious Burning of the Birch

I’m out of my head
I can see the world around me clear,
I’m out of my bed
And I’m ready to work my ass off this year,

Just like the last and the one before
My 'boyfriend' didn’t quite leave me,
He’s just making me feel like a whore
At least I can say that I’m all free,

I guess I just go back to the way I was,
Walking aimlessly, talking angrily,
Make pretending each night is love
Wake to my feet pitter pattering out sneakily,

Different now for I return to that warm embrace,
That now goes with a smiling face,
Where once it was somber,
He has respect for me no longer,

It isn’t a wonder how it happened
For I know myself and what I’m prone to do
Perhaps one day I'll be less maddened
But I know myself better than that too.

So I’m trying to get back up on my feet
Though I know I’ll just keep falling
At least I can always take the heat
Of how they’re all judging, appalling.

I’m too tough a cookie
For all this shit to get to me
I’m no pansy to wither under hot sun’s blurs
Nor even an iris to shiver at cold shoulders.

Today I feel like a black birch
You may break my brittle twigs of emotions
But I will not bleed my pain and hurt
Instead I will give the scent of pure devotion.

To you? Bah! Never,
To what I want and what I dream,
By being conniving and clever,
And something other than what I seem.

So dearest dear of my deadly desires,
You may use me damn good,
But I’ll use you to feed my own fires,
And dear Oak, this bon will soon consume all our wood.

I am ready for this demise,
For it is I who did surmise,
But brace yourself lover for the ominous,
The ostentatious and perilously tragic end of us,
For it is you who is cluelessly delirious to all of this.