Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

my alice

 

Unto you I give my heart

and sing from voices

that my lifesong supplies.

 

Engage in symphonies

of the sweetest melodies

that I may sing while guitars

play and bring time to a stand still.

 

Only you can be my right

kind of rain.

The season where snow falls

and I can't complain.

 

It's not about how much I love you

but that, in love, my depth of

this will never change.

 

Alice, sweet darling,

dance with me.

Our song has begun

to play.

 

 

Author notes

For my Baby Blue.
This goes along with the one she wrote me: http://allpoetry.com/poem/4707759

1) Good love--joyful love, young love, forever love, two old people walking arm in arm love... you get the idea. Lovemaking is ok but NO PORNO

Option - 4. Love <3

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Heroesrox
    January 1

    Edit | Reply
    Veryu good piece. You really made it feel emotional and real. Great job with the penning! An A+ job with word usage and everything. Keep up the great work! I will be looking forward to reading and commenting on more of your work soon. i hope that you can get the chance to COMMENT back on my work, seeing as how I am sure that you and I take the same amount of love and put it into each and every piece that we write! Thanks so much for the share and again, a brilliant write!

    THANKS SO MUCH!

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Heroesrox~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    November 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    OMG such a sweet poem, love the emotion of this. Beautiful write, thank you for entering the contest. Good luck.


    whisper


  • Shenanigans
    October 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! GREAT write. Very pretty, and the varied structure gives it such a unique, melodic flow. My only suggestion is to maybe change the line "that I may sing while guitars
    pick you up and dance."

    I understood what you were trying to say...it reminds me vaguely of a frank sinatra song... but the image it conjured for me was of guitars with arms literally picking someone up.... I assume you meant the sound/melody...not something out of a cartoon

    Aside from that your poem is beautiful.

    Great write and excellent luck in the contest! --Shannon



  • Little Miss Mental
    October 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    aww this is deeply touching. Its wonderful when you love someone this deeply to write something so romantic and pasionate about them. Very nicely done, especially on the last lines.