the sky keens down
disturbances of affairs
making a mockery of
Pluto's realm
while an overspread
of listless clouds
sew Stygian colors
into facile dancing
all cumbersome showers
manifest the mental struggle
between disinclination
and a sense of
tacit accedence
abounding with
raw edges
that dictate permanent union
between soul
and master
she can't stop
and her tormentor
won't let her go
submissively ill
but ever so strong
Author notes
I rewrote: http://allpoetry.com/poem/1125145
Thanks for the challenge!!!
Yink 
A contest entry
- POINTS POINTS POINTS FOR NO GOLDS by Meej.
775 points, ended November 10, 2008, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Why don't you ask me a question?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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There is a grand sense of an epic struggle initially, as you envoke the heavens. Then this is distilled to a somone, a person, caught in that epic between commitment to a choice made, and a deep longing for freedom. Well written. Geo
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you have used metaphor and imagery alot more strongly in this piece and have really taken it to that next level that requires the reader to think between the lines and search deeper for meaning...good effort...thanks for entering.
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Thanks! The picture is so haunting. It was helpful just as much as my old piece was.
Yink
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I really liked this and I think this is one of my more favorites that you have written lately....maybe because I can self centerly relate given my current mood.
Anyways... I love the contridiction of both strong but weak.
a well done rewrite!
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You chose which one I should rewrite.
Yink
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