What would you do?,
If you were where I am,
Feeling numb and weak,
With nothing left at your feet,
Staring down at what lies before you.
How would you feel?,
If you were in my place,
Your mind lingering on,
Like its in outer space.
Do you realize what you are doing to me?,
Do you think my life is just a game layed out to play?,
Can you feel it everytime I get the blade?,
What are you thinking about?,
Obviously not me,
Am I just another stitch upon your thread?,
Is that how you want it to be?
Just think to yourself,
Wonder why I am in pain,
Cause to you my life is just a game.
I don't know if you know what I do?,
But pain helps upon it all,
I feel like a leaf while you are the tree,
I think I'll take the very next fall.
I can't fix what you are,
And I can't change what you think of me,
But if I were you,
I would just wait and see.
I'm sick of hiding behind this,
Pretending everything is just well,
I don't fake my feelings,
And I don't think you can tell.
But still here I am,
Surviving on your extending limbs,
I'm just another leaf to you,
Another living sin,
Just waiting for the very next fall.
A contest entry
- food for thought- ♥- cutters, noncutters, and ex-cutters by Immortal Obscurity.
875 points, ended November 10, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
=)
Comments
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The first thing I noticed was that you switched from rhyme to free-verse, and back again; my advice to you is to pick one form and stick with it. It's a lot easier on the reader's tongue.
Your ending was definitely the strongest, as a good poem's ending should be. Oh, and 'layed' in Stanza 3, Line 2 should be 'laid'. Thank you for entering, and good luck.
Laura
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Thanks, I'm Glad You Liked It
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WOW
I loved it. A lot. OM3G. It's amazing. I particularly like the last stanza.
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