i sit and wonder all day long,
people tell me i have to much time to think.
my mind wonders off to all the hurt,
all the memories
what i thought was once forgotten,
is now my mental war of words to fight.
i feel like screaming,i feel so trapped
come here my dear friend blade,
i need you now
as i lower my arm blade pulls across my flesh,
ripping it apart, it feels so good
drip - drip
as i watch the blood fall to the ground,
i think i'm addicted, addicted to the pain,
somebody save me from my mind,
it's driving me insane.
making me think i'm alright but i'm dying of pain,
it's the feeling inside it lasts for a while,
i sit and cut slashing trough my body making scars so deep,
wounding myself into a new set of mind..
forgetting i need to breathe,
what if i could die..not forever just for a while
i now lift up my head and remember
when i needed someone most it was always my friend blade..till the end.. drip drip drip
A contest entry
- food for thought- ♥- cutters, noncutters, and ex-cutters by Immortal Obscurity.
875 points, ended November 10, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Excellent. See your punctuation has improved an lot. Love your poems. Keep it up
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Hmmm... My first recommendation to you would be to proofread your work. Poor grammar and spelling can take away from your poem's full effect; shame, since the idea here is a good one.
I particularly liked this bit:
"what i thought was once forgotten,
is now my mental war of words to fight."
That stood out, as did this line:
"come here my dear friend blade,
i need you now."
I feel like I've invaded your mind on a very personal level; polish it up a little bit, and you could have an epic on your hands. I'll be more than happy to help, if you need
Thanks for entering.
Laura
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