Conflicted

She sits in her room
legs curled to her chest
tears streaming down her rosy cheeks
heart pounding
mind racing....

she cant do this

she cant

she holds three hearts in her hands
the boy's she is head over heels in love with
the boy's she adores
and her own

She knows she has to put two of them down
and give all of herself to one
and only one

she cant do it

she cant bear it

she cant...

the boy she loves she needs forever and she knows that
he is always there for her with a smile on his face
with the look in his eyes like she is the most beautiful person alive
and he has all the love in the world for her
but he lives so far away
and doesnt seem to ever come closer to her....
hes always just outside her grasp
and when she is falling and needs him the most
when she reaches for him
all she can grab is air
bleak nothingness

the boy she adores seems to be just a friend
a lovely friend who is physically always there
she looks at him like he is the person she wants to be with forever
-friends with forever-
but he looks at her like she is the most perfect person in the world
and he is falling in love with her
and the harder he falls
the more it hurts her
to know
someday she will be the one hurting him
and he will be the one walking out of her life
forever

then there is her heart
torn in two
one half beats for the man she loves
the man she wants
the man she cant be without
while the other half beats for her admirer
for when she needs a shoulder to cry on
its not her own shoulder with a phone separating it from her cheek
he offers a hand to hold
and a warm body to cuddle to when the weather is cold
and he is becoming one of her best friends
she cant bear to hurt him
she cant bear to let him go
she loves him like a brother

she is conflicted
she is hurting
she is alone

She can only keep one heart

she cant do it

she cant...

I cant....