Today I stood still
And let the world come to me.
My body was still
But above my spirit flew so free.
I have been trying too hard
To find a place to call my own.
Searching high and low
Only to feel so cut out and alone.
I was seeking sanity
In a world that was insane.
Trying to find peace
When peace is so hard to attain.
But I had to realise
I just had to be still within my soul.
Listen to what it said
And for once let it take control.
And when I did that
When I finally gave myself the key.
I opened my heart
And realised that it was always free.
A contest entry
- I Need To Read by poets whisper.
900 points, ended September 14, 90 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 46 of 46
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i could not help, but to adore your wit as writer, as poet.
a very pompous poem--very simple and comprehensible.
the message is universal.
i will not give any comment about the tech-aspect of this because i know that you know the refined way of writing poem!
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A bit of an epiphany, that ending. I like that. Well-penned.
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these are the greatest moments of life
and you wrote it with ease
and your flow was perfect
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Great poem that is very thought provoking. We have the power within us to control what we can when other things around us we have no control over. And you are right, if we just listen to the small voice, our own inside us, we might not be so persuaded by such hateful things in this world and see the good and do what we know is best for ourselves. =) Thanks for sharing this and keep writing!!
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this makes me wonder what I have always wondered: who judges what and who is insane? Who judges what is fine wine and cheese ... what is normalcy and who is the judge of that? Anyway, your write is a good lesson for us all. Thank you for entering the contest
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Sounds like a fairly ...
sensible approach to living. It reminds me of this:
"Stone walls do not a prison make, nor iron bars a cage." by Richard Lovelace.
Good luck with your writing in future.
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Cute
Ya know we humans can definately take a page from your book! Sometimes problems are solved just by trying not to solve them... I particularly loved the last stanza... simple yet heart felt and absolutely true. Keep writing friend=)
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thanks so much for your lovely comment
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awsome
your poem was very inspiring -
peace is within!
I opened my heart
And realised that it was always free."Freedom around us is a misnomer and it is only running of myth in this material world!you have correcly said that the world comes to you while you stand erect unmoved. The peace within is mightier!
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Again, written really well - reads superb - would have liked more depth in the sense i would have liked to know more about you - but that is a personal thing. Quite envious of the style, this like your other one I read is presented and written really well.
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thats right
you've got to be still to let the love find you ... and remind you
girl youre so awesome ... your writes ... i think i'm developing a crush :B
teddybare
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Aww inspiring.. I loved it ..
Pray, Love, Remember
Silver xx -
A positive and excellent write, a pleasure to read. This really deserves a trophy, you should look for other contests.
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We try hard to maintain control, sometimes thinking it's the way to find the peace and other things we need...when I think really, if we'd let go more often I think we'd feel renewed. You say many truths and this is a very beautiful and serene write...it has the perfect elements and balance of self. Sanity in an insane world...so right!
♥
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I loved this piece. Beautifully written.
Keep it up the beautiful work
Cheers, Fayfreire
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The last two stanzas tell the reader exactly what you are trying to say... or what your heart wants you to hear.
But I had to realise
I just had to be still within my soul.
Listen to what it said
And for once let it take control.
And when I did that
When I finally gave myself the key.
I opened my heart
And realised that it was always free.
great flow, very descriptive and well versed.
awesome write, Vanessa!
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A wonderful write, it is so true and I liked it all the way through.
Beautiful....Best wishes in the contests
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I really like the last stanza although I must say as a whole the write did not cheer me up. I'm looking for things that will make me laugh. although a fine write this is not what I am looking for. Thank you for entering
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Lovely poem, great rhyme
I insist on rhyme and love it when I find another rhyming poet. The message of this poem is important, useful. Good writing.
Tiki Cat
Buy Tiki's Gourmet Cat Food
"Too Good For Humans"
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This sounds like an amazing feeling. You describe it so well and the rhymes all just fit perfectly. I love the lines: "I was seeking sanity In a world that was insane" that's so true. great job
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Some times we're fighting so hard or hanging on so tight when we really need to let go.
A very inspirational write hun
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delicious soft write of ones heart, finally learning where it had always been./at times we seek many thing and non will satisfy us, for we ourselves hav no idea what we need and want. Well doner, friend. Lf
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I'm not going to try to sound new age philosopher like everyone else, I could, but I'm not. I do want to say however, as you know, that this is a very strong piece and it carries the message across clearly. Most people can relate to this poem, but they can't put it into words so eloquently. Who knows, perhaps this has help someone realise that they too are like this. Well done Vanessa, and yes if you were wondering, I relate too.
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absolutely stunning ...
truth and light radiates from your words and from the space in between them ...
I couldn't have expressed it in a more graceful way than you have done here ...
wonderful,
maa
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Beautiful Vanessa
I really like the "getting a hold of your own destiny" feeling in this. My favorite lines are the last 4.. so very very poignant. It is only our minds that keep us locked away from our true selves. All we need to do is let go of everything, and we will truly be free.
Again, beautiful!
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Really lovely
We think that if we go to the mountain we'll find some sort of truth. But the real journey is to the within. The beauty was there the whole time.
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Ahhhh such a sweet soft write, of your feelings. I am happy you are free.
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In the first stanza, you might not want to use the word still twice.
That's just my opinion though, you don't have to change it if you wouldn't like to.
I like the theme, the idea of the entire piece.
I feel like I can relate.
Realize is spelled with a z, not an s.
Again, something you might not care about..but I'm pointing it out anyway.
I love freedom, and you were very clever in your ending.
I enjoyed this, very much so.
Keep up the good work. -
All is set free when one realizes that the soul does say. Sometimes its only in quiet whispers, but it still has a voice...only then can anyone find true happiness. Great penning here! ~Sie
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Great rhyme and I loved the short/long phrasing!
My favourite lines were:
'Today I stood still
And let the world come to me'
There is a lovely spacey feeling about these lines.
As for the message, it is so true.
Sometimes we get so involved in what's going on around us, that we begin to let it drag us down. But ultimately we are in charge of us! Super write!
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nice work i love it
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awesome!!
i love it, great job! -
The whole poem (until the end) made me sad. We all have times where the world seems insane, and everything is just off kilter. Im glad, you are finally free, the end gave the whole poem such an uplifting feeling
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bravo
we tend to search for joy but we never find it,
keep still and joys comes to you
lovely and insightful
truly beautiful message
God bless you...
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Ah, some sage and most sound advice given here, and, I hope, take! very nicely and very deftly done poem throughout... bravo!
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Wonderfully written
Realizing that we are not the body but are somehow outside and separate from it, that's so very important of a thing and not something that everyone realizes or wants to know. Watching your "self", listening to it... that's where some of the best advice and guidance comes from.
Trying to make sense of a world that will never make sense just doesn't make sense.
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Insightful
Excellent work. You offered us the exact key to self-realization. Always our uniqueness has a place in life's puzzle, but it may be other than where we are trying to fit the whole thing. Sometimes it's as simple as being able to accept our shape and willingness to change our expectations. Very well written.
"But I had to realize
I just had to be still within my soul.
Listen to what it said
And for once let it take control." This is my favorite verse and something I have to incorporate into my own scheme of things. Well done, Poet.
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Exceptional
Sorry for the lil oops earlier I do that a lot. But I love this poem...standing still letting the spirit take over. It's hard to do bvecause we are humans and the flesh leads us, to various sometimes unwanted places, but I love the inspiration in this. I love the line"And for once let it take control" HOT DAMN!! You got it! We try so hard, but there is an old gospel song that sings"What do you do when you done all you can, STAND" I love poems about overcoming and realizations and this hits the mark. Great write! -
Eceptional
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Hummm a wonderful expressions of the life and its meaning with..I love the move of the write which leads us at the innovative point by the end..and that is the strength this wonderful piece..well done...
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So good to hear this from you Vanessa.
Wonderful and meaningful direction you have taken.
Hope all is good with you.
Sol
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A beautiful rhyming scheme and very vivid imagery made this poem worth the time. I was engrossed in it because it was that well penned! Keep it up!
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Vanessa, so good to read your words again!
And what a discovery you have made,
described so well upon the page!
Bravo!!
Aesthete2000
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I book marked your wise poem
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wonderfully written about one self. We determine what we want to know and miss reality. Choiceless awareness show us the real state, when you aptly said in last two lines. Very well done Vanessa through your beautiful heart
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