Snowflakes in Fall

"I miss you my friend. No matter how many hour's, minute's, second's that turn into day's, month's and years, that ache still lies harbored upon the shores of a heart that truly has never been the same. I still can't believe your gone and yet, I know that you now reside Heaven-side.....I wonder if it is everything you ever imagined? Hoped? Dreamed? I know, somewhere in this haze that it is. Why else would you have left?

Memories tend to fade no matter how we try to keep them alive. As late, I have found myself so deeply disturbed that the ones who were infants, toddler's when your journey moved from this life to the next do not remember you. As treasured and adored as they were ( by you ). They know not from whence they come.......it tears the inner lining of my heart for to know you simply was to love you. My memories can not be transplanted but remember I do! The smile you wore when ever your " minky," was near by. The delight upon your face when your " josh-bug," moved in my belly, beneath your hand. Bonds built from love that transcend all things.........

How to continue your legacy and be sure that your memory is never tarnished or stained? How to set the example your footprints imparted every day of your life? How to explain the simplest truth's that made you who you were? Who you still are to those who knew and loved you?

I long to pick up the phone and hear your voice on the other end. I ache to have just one more moment in your presence. I would not hesitate to tell you what you mean to me. Time just slipped away. Before any of us knew what was happening you were gone. For reason's I can not explain I am especially sad this year......as we near the twelfth anniversary of an ANGEL getting her wings. I think of you often, I miss you always but this year I feel as if you are trying to tell me something and I am missing it.

There is no doubt in my mind that if you want to contact me you will.......we had a pretty unique relationship. I was blessed with your friendship and completely in awe of your role as my Mother-in-law ( oh yea, we threw the in-law out didn't we? )! We had a lot of memorable moments over the course of our friendship. I remember sitting on my bed when they rushed you to the hospital and weren't sure you would make it after a brain aneurysm burst, and I begged God not to take you away! I was inconsolable........I could not bear nor face a world without you. God heard that prayer and he answered it. You were released from the hospital just three days after major brain surgery and you should not have survived. You did and we got another eight years with you!

Cancer finally took you and no one really knew how much you truly suffered until after you were gone. You were a shining example and a truly amazing woman. I miss you! Your smile, your voice, your faith, your sense of humor, your wisdom, your ear to listen when I had something to say ( which was a lot ), your guidance, your devotion to your family and your God.

I know your in Heaven and I can close my eyes and see you in an angelic, white gown with your beautiful, black hair just tumbling over your shoulders and that smile that welcomed every one! It comforts me when I want to be selfish and stomp my foot and insist that I get more time and I can hear you saying...." Now Ree, wait your turn!"

I smile through the sadness because though I miss you I know that you are where you always talked about being.......in heaven with your God, waiting and watching over those you love.........one can only be grateful for being honored with you as an ANGEL!"