Creator's praise
To Him we raise!
The trail ascends
As sheen extends,
Through stately trees,
Each one now sees
Its beams shine down
On yellow, brown,
Tall evergreens;
Lane intervenes.
Our path's aglow,
For sure we know
That as we trust,
As pilgrims must,
His Word so true
Gives life anew.
Past golden leaves
We bring our sheaves.
Eternal light--
Oh, glorious sight!
Author notes
Option 2. This poem coordinates with two chapters in a book I am writing; the title has to do with a fantasy holiday. Psalm 126:6
A contest entry
- October New Member's Contest by AP Greeters.
600 points, ended November 6, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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I like the colors on the page. And the leaves remind me of real golden leaves. Good job.
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Thanks--and thank God--this has maybe been my most successful poem ever.
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Welcome to AllPoetry!
This is so pretty, and the rhythm and rhymes are tight and unforced for the most part.
I must admit that, had it had been mine, I would not have placed the form in couplets. Perhaps two or three stanzas long as the thoughts are interwoven.
Tall evergreens;
Lane intervenes.<-- punctuation not needed in those two lines.
Lifting some of the punctuation and unifying it would give me the go on this being exceptional. Your call, of course.
Thank you. -
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Thanks for your extended comments. Another respondent liked the couplets. I've written poems in couplets before, and then combined them before posting. I'll have to take another look at this one. Combining some lines would produce some good results, but OTOH the pairs of lines have their own force.
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welcome to all poetry
Hi Terrora
I like the style you have here
good poem thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
Barbara
site greeter
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Welcome to AllPoetry!
Nice. This has a deep meaning to the words and offers a tranquility to those who read and search within it. Good job,
Welcome to AP and good luck in the contest.
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Thank you!
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Hi,
I would just like to wish you the best of luck
in the contest
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Thanks!
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Welcome to AP
Hello Terrora,
I enjoyed your short lines. I felt like the flow was unstoppable!
It sounds to me like I might want to take a walk down the road you speak of. Very well done.
Criss -
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Thanks!
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Welcome to Allpoetry
Always nice to meet a fellow novelist
I'd love to know more about your book after reading this.
While I'm not spiritual myself, I have to admire your profession of your chosen faith. The last five couplets are lovely. Well done, and welcome aboard
Keep it up!
Laura, aka Immortal
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Thanks! It's still a work in progress, but I've posted a link on my AP page if you want to take a look.
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Absolutely beautiful! I have an incredible mental image in my head now. :-)
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Thanks! I had to work extra hard on this one! :-)
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Welcome to AllPoetry!
So y’all are bringing in the sheaves. I’ve heard of that. 
I see your path is a happy, productive on traveled by willing workers who are entering in to the beauty of the God given day. Good work.
And good luck in the contest.
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welcome to allpoetry
A wonderful message... and well written. I like the two line stanzas. Thank you for entering the contest and sharing your words.
Best of luck to you.
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Welcome to Allpoetry
What a wonderful, uplifting poem you have written. It fills the heart. Good job & good luck.
♥
whisper
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Welcome to Allpoetry!
This is a very interesting poem - I like that the rhythm of this creates images of marching - much like the pilgrims of the story behind your words I think that this is a good take on the prompt - brings a light of a new colour to the picture I wish you the best of luck in the contest!
Keep writing
Pol
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Welcome to Allpoetry
This is indeed a different poem, though I cant fully comprehend as to how the picture fits your poem.. Still, on a second glance, it might
Thank you for the entry in our contest..
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