I fall in love
With your lies
I want to stare
At your cold hearted eyes
I hold you in my arms
As you kill me
I kiss your lips
As you betray me
When you hurt me
I believe you caress
Every time I see bruises
They’re love marks you express
I smile as you frown
You laugh while I cry
I care when you’re pissed
You act cocky as if I was shy
You push me away
I always stayed
I want to hold you forever
You always want me to fade
You whispers in my ear
“I loathe you”
But, what I heard was:
“I love you”
A contest entry
- The Allpoetry Seven Contest (-1) by Dancing Feather.
1850 points, ended November 25, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Almost Anything by poets whisper.
550 points, ended November 11, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Light and Darkness by Jason Smith.
400 points, ended November 30, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites. ♥ by GraveyardGoddess.
400 points, ends December 17, 446 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
-
Its a very good poem that seems to flow rhythmically from stanza to stanza... I cannot immediatly come up with any thing you could have done to make it better
Good luck with the contest -
Wow this si really good^^
I love it good luck!
~Silky -
this is a stronger piece because of the first two stanzas because it happens to many and kills more, though the piece could be stronger and more vivid the concept of this is good as well as the tone
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