You.
[Yeah, You.]
With your *p~r*e~t*t~y* pants,
Your (b\a/n\g/l\e/s) on your wrists,
Your |St|ra|pp|y| top with perfect ((bre)(asts))...
[You.]
You /caused/ my misery.
Every b r e a t h I took was through your desire...
I b r e a t h e d in your (scent,)
I l_i_v_e_d for your :affection:,
And awaited your :attention:.
You looked t-h-r-o-u-g-h me.
He was _there_,
Gently mocking me,
My -(g)la--ss(es)-
my heart...
I was t~o_r-n~,
My soul was o...p...e...n.
I ((offered)) myself to you.
[Next time,]
I'll bring the
>>Trigger,
and a Promise to
>>>pull>>>>
it....
I cannot {have} you,
No-one can (have) you.
My soul will
{{-fly-}}
with yours.
Author notes
11. I'll bring the trigger and a promise to pull it.
In a list
A contest entry
- I feel so dirty[[pretty]] --With a ~twist~-- by BenziRae.
720 points, ended November 19, 2008, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Does it have narrative credibility?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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gonna hafta agree with the one below me- very dark, yet still incredibly interesting!
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Oh wow. Sort of dark, but I love it anyways. You did a terrific job with the prompt. This is a great write.
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awesoooome! loved it darling.
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this is an amazing peice and very cleverly penned, i love the line "next time il bring the trigger and a promise to pull it" awsome! good luck with the contest
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I gotta be honest... The line you liked was not mine... it was one I had to use as a prompt...
:Holds head in shame...:
Yeah, I liked it too, we had to choose from a list of lines to use, and that was teh one I chose.
Glad you liked the poem anyway, even if the line weren't mine! (Can assure you everything else is though!)
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Interesting.
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i REALLY LIKE THIS AND I CAN SEE THE LINKS WITH SOME OF THE GRAPHICS HEHEHE XX
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