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My life. Your Life?

Cigarettes
Court dates
Alchol
Police
Fast cars
Love
Hate
Pain


Good meaning
Wisodom
Maturity
Experience
Growing up
Adventure
Fun
Life


Scarring
Loss of Childhood
Scared
Confusion
Crying
Greiving
Loss
Life


Life? or Life!

Author notes

In this poem I was mainly trying to sum of life in general and mainly life for those in broken homes. I stated several things about life, then I mentioned the good things that come from them,and then the bad. I know this can be a little confusing at first so I hope this helped.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • August Starlight silver member
    March 19

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    It wasn't exactly confusing to me but I don't know if I'd've gotten "broken home" without your explanation. I understood the main theme from the title.
    Anyway it was a good write, different from the norm.


  • T.o.r.t.u.r.e. gold member
    March 15

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    wow.. looking at your other comments i feel like i have to write a really long comment about the complexity of the language used or the impact of the poem in my emotions. I don't write comments like that.. so i gues ill have to settle with telling you that its a wonderfull "little" poem. and ilove it. thank you for entering and good luck int he contest


  • Visit.Me.On.Mars
    January 7

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    I like that this poem is vague and allows the reader to interpret it in any way that they wish but yet it stil has your signature imprinted in the words letting people see a bit of you
    Good luck
    ----Janette


  • suzume
    November 4, 2008

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    I can agree with Kelsey-Jo. Something about cigarettes does have a poetic kind of allure...

    I'm not entirely sure that I got the full meaning behind the poem... like a friend who starts to tell you a story and then thinks better of it, leaving you hanging... The clipped word and phrase format is both powerful, as the words stand out, but it can also be vague. I got really confused with the center stanza cupped between two less uplifting stanza's, but then the very last line gives that a bit more weight. It kind of has a high school lit feeling to me... like The Outsiders, or something like that...
    Sorry... just musing. ^_^

    Thanks for entering


    • Horrific Hollis
      November 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I'm sorry you were confused. I understand it is rather unclear and difficult to figure out the style i used. What I did was I stated main things about life and then I stated the good things about them and life in general and then I stated the bad things about them and life in general. I was meaning to sum up the concept of life and it's troubles but good things about stress and experience all at the same time. Maybe i'll put something in the AN about it. Again I'm sooo sorry it confused you.


  • Kelsey-Jo silver member
    October 23, 2008

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    For some reason, I find cigarettes to be a very strong poetic symbol. Perhaps so many things--arguably good and bad--packed into such a tiny thing. I love cigarettes in poetry.

    I like the style you used and the general idea. Each line calls upon so many possibilities and perceptions, allowing for such individualized readings, and I love the idea at the end. For some reason I don't like the way that last line is formatted though. I'm not sure how you might change it but it feels a bit like you're slapping readers in the face, you follow? Like you're insulting their intelligence by making it so obvious and blatant. It's probably just me, though. Just my thoughts. Excellent poem, in any case. Concise, strong, drawing upon countless emotions.

    Take care and good luck!!

    Kelsey-Jo

1 - 6 of 6