You stood like androgynous monuments
The wit of your mouth arched
Into sly, impish smiles
The mischief in your footfalls
Delivered a flare to your swagger
You, clever jester, filled us like wine
Our mouths dizzy with giggles
The sweet affability, rapid humor,
Belonged to your hands alone
Once, you balanced a rock on my palm,
Asking if I ever held anything as hard.
You told us, it was so immense
That your "voluptuous" schlong
Needed to be rolled like a fire hose.
There was that one morning
When you stole clothes from the lost and found
And sold them throughout the day.
But there was anger
Your hair crackled as a lion's mane
Even in fights, you played joker cards
Your devotion catching our spines
Protection against the battles
The claws and the teeth and the ink
Whispered, "Sleep tight in the burrow
Carved six feet below ground."
It was the reckless wilderness in you
That silenced your laughter
Maybe if we had held you closer
Begged, wept on knees for you to stay
Your tricks would still brighten our eyes
You drift, a ship in the sky
If my eyes squint
My fingers cradle the unattainable
Author notes
A poem for Mercutio and my friend Matt who was a jokester and one of the funniest people I ever knew, gone but never forgotten.
I was always drawn to Mercutio because he was a witty, prankster nancy boy. There was something about him that was androgynous (which I find highly attractive in guys) and cleverly humorous.
I was listening to Candyass by Fluffy Starr. Fluff's definition of Candyass: a boy who takes pride in his appearance.
Mercutio before he died: "Ask for me tomorrow, and you shall find a grave man..."
Bah-du-che PUN.
A contest entry
- Tybalt and Mercutio by Lauren Noir.
400 points, ended December 6, 2008, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I really like how you applied it to real life, it really makes it mean something more. It's not just retelling, it's making it yours. You REALLY know the character Mercutio.
This was just beautiful. I think I love your friend Matt
Good luck, thanks for entering and well done
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Thank you honey. That really means a lot that you care. You have no idea.
lovelovelove
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I absolutely adored this. I knew you'd written it about Mercutio before I read the Author Notes. I'm not a big Romeo and Juliet fan, I do mean the play and not the characters, although I don't care much for them either, so it's really saying something that I knew which character you'd written it about. Sorry about your friend, but I'm sure he'd be honored that you've created such a well-written poem in his honor.
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I don't know why, maybe being Halloween, but this sooooo reminded me of The Rocky Horror Picture Show...the way it rolled off my tongue and the hints of wit and sarcasm....very Alexander Pope(ish)
it other words
as high a compliment as I can give
loved it
I heard laughter as well
perhaps your friends
peace and hugs
Muddy
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Thank you! I love Rocky! The midnight showings are always a delicious treat.
Happy [early] Halloween!
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Oh this is wonderful! I've already told you that I love your use of your vocabulary, you just use it in such a good sense instead of throwing everything you know in there. This was myt favourite
'Even in fights, you played joker cards'
That was good. This is such an interesting contest, and this piece was interesting. -
This reminded me of a friend that passed away in spring. He committed suicide by running headlong into a semi.
This flowed with such a lazy ease and gave the most amazing images. I can't believe some of the words you think of makes me jealous
Mercutio was amazing
Lovely write dearest! -
This is a great tribute to your friend, Matt. I can really see him here. (Voluptuous schlong - lol) I like the structure of this poem, too.
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Nice work. I liked the tone you set early on and the way the characters came to life through the piece.
'It was the reckless wilderness in you
That silenced your laughter'
This line really made the poem work for me. I think most of us know people that this line could pertain to. It is sad and yet vibrant. I have found several other lines I thought were great too, but that one stood out from the rest.
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