Ill make your incoherent mind suffer
My necromantic sense will rape your mephitic pride
Ill kill & bury all your hope
Taking over your eyes & breathing your own lies
No matter how much I crave you
I will not let your needy self back in my life
You’re not longer my priority
Just a meek character that causes me strife
So take your selfish words
Your dignity, and shove it up your ass
I can promise you, no guarantee
I’m not ever coming back
Author notes
"freak on a leash" by Korn
thought it kinda related?
Enjoy
A contest entry
- Options. =] by XScreamMeALoveSongx.
550 points, ended November 7, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For making me your favourite ♥ by Never Fall in Love.
900 points, ended December 9, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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I like this. pretty pissed off style. i see where your comin from with the relation of the korn song. but when i read it, it feels more to me like something from the issues album. thats a pretty fucked up album but i know you had more to say. what ever this was could not be explained in such a short poem. i can tell there is more.
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yes, there is plenty more. it was just so hard to get this out in the first place that i decided that this was enough. i let out what i needed to. thanks for your comment <3
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Intense and in-your-face. I like your aggressive style.
There's a small typo you may have overlooked: "You’re not longer my priority" I think "not" should be no. Well done.
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ahh, thank you!
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This is ok, and yea.. I can see how it relates. thanks for entering
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nothing more than that? not gonna tell me why its just "ok"?
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To be honest, I think you could have put more into it. Its just ok, its not the best it could be.
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thats better, thanks. i like feedback.
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Ayayay! This was such a strong and powerful write. So intense! Haha. You did very well in this piece. Best to you in the contest.
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ooh i like this one, very dark and.....inyour face so to speak, loved the wording
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haha thats how iam :]
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wow, this is powerful and i love your choice of words, amazing poem Hailee.
<3 Lena
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:]]
thanks so much gorgeous
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I love the big words, they make it sooo sophisticated
great write love
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haha thanks boo
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Strong! Intense! Harsh! This is what I call poetry that's fucking sweet! I actually felt the anger and hate here in this piece of art. Keep it up!
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im good with anger :]
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Woah. Intense. I love it. I can relate. =)
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thank you darling :]
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Welcome. =)
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