Trapped in full view of heaven's tears
Arms stretched wide I pull thee near
Sentimental drops fall round and form
The outline of love against the backdrop of storm
Lightning claps and thunder rolls
Whilst we embrace and knit our souls
Angelic eyes search insight for wiles
Beneath their abode amongst shivering smiles
Soft wet lips touch fiery affection
Giving birth to new ardor and erotic perfection
Nature has blessed such sweet consummation
With replenished devotion to a martyr's elation
So cry, O heavens, I say now cry
Release all thy might 'neath the dark clouded sky
Drown out all worries and wash away time
Flood deep our hearts with deluge sublime
- love poems group list • next in list
A contest entry
- FIRST KISS IN THE POURING RAIN! by Bohemianwriter.
850 points, ended October 22, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Share your poems with me by trekkergirl.
550 points, ended November 6, 2008, 174 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Three Options by Learning2PaintYou.
575 points, ended November 29, 2008, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Best Pre-Written Rhyme by poets whisper.
800 points, ended November 11, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~ Cherished Prewrites ~ by Sunkissed xo.
1000 points, ended November 15, 2008, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Rain by Dragonbabyx3.
2399 points, ended December 23, 2008, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love, does it really exist? by geckogirl.
850 points, ended May 12, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - RHYME AWAYY by TheSexyOne.
690 points, ended May 29, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just make it amazing. by ThisIsMyWonderland.
400 points, ended June 23, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
-
excellent rhyme & rhythm.. beautiful to read... thanks for entering & sharing this will us... good luck
-
Oh my! This is beautiful! The Imagery you used is brilliant! The last stanza was magnificent! Beautiful! Thankyou for entering my contest, and Good Luck!
-
Lightning claps and thunder rolls
Whilst we embrace and knit our souls
omg!!!! i fell absolutely in love with this poem. i know im singling out these two lines but wow the whole poem is fantastic. i also love the words ''shivering smiles''
its so perfect. im not being over zealous in my commenting. just truthful i swear this poem is best ive read all day
well done
-
some kiss here you expressed i think you were very detail and did a very great excellent job it was a very great pleasure reading this here poem
-
Well done. You have woven a poem of subtlety and beauty. Best of luck in the current contest.
Mike
-
Lightning claps and thunder rolls
Whilst we embrace and knit our souls
Angelic eyes search insight for wiles
Beneath their abode amongst shivering smiles
Ah, not many people would take much heed to the line "whilst we embrace and knit our souls" I believe that when you give as much as yourself to make love to them/have sex with them, you are giving up a very personal, sensual side of yourself which can go as deep as your soul. You put this very well in your poem. Also, "Angelic eyes search insight for wiles" was a gorgeous line.
Altogether, the poem was well put together, vocabulary and spelling correct, and the background is simple.
Best Regards,
Holly
comments are returned. -
So cry, O heavens, I say now cry
Release all thy might 'neath the dark clouded sky
Absolutely Amazing.
You did a wonderful job.Truly.
-
Beautiful imagery. This was very well done. Love the rhymes, the rhythm and the beat. It kept me reading, and the imagery kept me imagining. This piece is worth the trophy it received.
-
Your own unique ways of writing the prompt, are beautiful here, and your words...Romance blossoms with the fury of the storm builds up as well...Intensity of weather brings intensity of feelings ...Impressive write!
-
What a beautiful write! so passionate and full of fire and light. you write with such skill and flare! I especially loved the ending stanza:
"So cry, O heavens, I say now cry
Release all thy might 'neath the dark clouded sky
Drown out all worries and wash away time
Flood deep our hearts with deluge sublime"
Overall, a magnificent write! thanks so much for entering the contest, best of luck in it!
peace ♥
-
This is beautiful and makes me wonder if something more than just a contest muse inspired it. Whatever it was, it is quite beautiful. Thank you for your entry.
-
-
I tried to recall my thoughts and emotions from the times I have been captured intimately by a loved one in the rain. But most of it came from the contest. It was a change of pace for me because I normally don't enter contests with prompts or quotes for starters.
-
-
Thank you for your entry in my contest. I do like your title and the way that you came up with it. Using it in the last line makes it a very strong title.
I particularly like the line, "Drown out all worries and wash away time"
I also really like the old-English style that you used in the line, "Arms stretched wide I pull thee near."
Good luck in my contest as well as all the others! -
Please. Read the Rules.
I don’t dislike your poem at all. It’s a real shame I have to remove it because it did not follow the rules. This is a contest for poems with between 20 and 40 lines. Poems with punctuation. I’m sorry. Do you have anything that would fit the rules you want to enter?
Feel free to do that if you’d like.
-
Such a strong voice. You have always written with such passion, it always amazes me. And the imagery is just so vivid. Emotional and moving. well done friend.
-
This sort of sounds familiar like I may have read it once before. I like it tho so don't worry I might read it again some day. Good poems can be read often and enjoyed. thanks for sharing this and thanks for entering it into my contest.
-
great thoughts penned here, beautiful images. I liked the line...Whilst we embrace and knit our souls. Good job, thanks for sharing.
Love and light,
Lencio
-
Nice piece. Very descriptive. Good luck in the contest. d
-
Rich descriptions, although some word choices are not always clear, ex.,"replenished devotion to a martyr's elation" There seems to be strong mutual love here, so I don't understand who the "martyr" is... just mho! Good luck in the contest.
-
-
well, when you think of a martyr what comes to mind....someone who is a true believer in a cause or ideal. one who is resolute in their devotion and willing to die for its purpose. in this case, the two lovers are but willing martyrs for the ideal of passionate love, willing at a moment's notice to give their life for the other. that replenished devotion is a re-commitment to that ideal. and with the re-commitment comes a sheer elation and joy for such a reality.
I hope that explains it well. -
-
Yes, thank you; I hadn't thought of that, I suppose because of my Catholic heritage where all the martyrs are already dead! But your point is well-taken, willing to die for each other -- a great way to look at it. I appreciate your taking the time to explain it to me. I do like your poem very much!
-
-
-
Wow
I was sucked in by the title, as I have a long romance with rain. There's something magical about it even when alone in the rain, let alone with a person you love. This brought up several images in my head while reading it, painting a wonderful picture- the colors didn't bleed at all even in the rain. Sublime, it was, this lovely deluge of words.
-
Absolutely Delightful!
also very good rhyming and imagery, simply beautiful!
-
lovely write...holds a lot of sweet images
-
wow this is sincerely amazing. IT'S AWESOME!
-
O My! this...was.....absolutley magnificent!!!!!!
IM LOST FOR WORDS!!!!!......AGAIN!
THANKS FOR ENTERING!
AND GOOD LUCK! -
echo of an echo.....
-
Omg
I absolutely love your poem
The words you've used, the ideas you've put
Its a 10/10 for me ...
-
how truly poetic. Such a wonderfully worded poem, something that just sighed beauty. I am truly at a loss for words.. Beautifully written.
-
By far one of the most visual enhancing, image envoking, best penned poem I've ever read. Very well put. Your vocabulary selection is what really stood out to me! Defnitely not what you'd find in a typical write. Also, the rhyme was so smooth and..subtle, that I didn't even notice it until the second time that I read it! The flow was perfect, except line 13. I felt like it was too short, but maybe it's just the way that I read it. So, my final comment is WOW THIS IS AN AMAZING POEM!
ing alone,
Mylee
Adding your comment:
1 - 30 of 30
