I would trace hearts and butterflies
down the flesh of my skin,
watch the enigmatic designs embed themselves
deep into my soul and sear it with red-hot pain.
I would dip the blade of my knife
into saltwater and run it slowly over my wounds,
making the pain increase tenfold,
making the masochist in me scream with the pain and joy of it all.
I would sit on the porch swing and
stare up at the night sky,
admiring the twinkling little stars tens of
light years away and I’d ask them,
“Oh, shining one,
would you like a gift,
a gift from my heart to you—
an image of you on my arm?”
I would push myself on the swing,
hoping to reach higher and higher,
trying to touch the sky, reaching my arm out,
never quite managing to grab the stars.
As I sit alone in my room and cry,
wondering about the stars in the sky,
I take a look at the skin on my wrist,
that smooth, clean surface I can’t resist.
I take out my knife and think about it,
admiring its smooth sharpness and crisp coolness.
I could just take a little jab, twist it this way and that.
The patterns would emerge clean and nice, and I’d be all fine then.
I could carve my hearts and stars,
maybe even a little butterfly or two.
Oh heck, I could even scrawl his name,
just for the fun of it all.
If I were a cutter,
I’d do it for my little pretty things,
I’d do it for me,
I’d do it for a chance to be free.
But looking at my butterflies
and silver stars in the sky,
I can’t do it—
I can’t bleed them out like this.
I know that there are better ways
to release this pain, to get away from it all,
to reach the land of the free.
There’s just not a good enough reason to...
Cut, cut, cut.
I want my hearts and stars and names and games,
but there’s got to be a better way
than cutting my way to them.
Drop the knife,
get out and have a life.
Yeah, that’s what I’m going to do, walking out
into the sunshine and seeing my butterflies... for real.
Author notes
This is about self-harm... but about how I chose *not* to do it in the end.
In a list
A contest entry
- Give me your best shot by LOVELYmurder.
535 points, ended December 1, 2008, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A contest reguarding self-harm. by AutumnsFlame.
700 points, ended December 13, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The temptations of life by annesall235.
425 points, ended December 10, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Helping someone be strong by tiredxofxsunsets.
700 points, ended February 7, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
If you really want to, you can stop cutting. Do you really want to?
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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I love this. It's brilliant, beautiful and very inspiring. I love the way you talk about cutting shapes and patterns into yourself, making it seem as if cutting is a pretty thing... but then you talk about the patterns you'd cut and how the real things are so much nicer than they are scarred into your skin. It's very clever. Made me smile =]
x x x
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i really liked tyhis poem. at the beginning i was questioning a little but towards the end it is amazing. i love the image of a girl reahing for the stars
thanks so much for your entry
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this poem is so depressing but at the same time you made a mental picture in my head of a girl on a swing reaching for the stars and actual carving her arm but in a way it all gets better and there is no scars because it was kinda like a what if .. what if you were to do it ... it was strong and it would touch those in mental pain... buy just describing the knife it was amazing i can actually get a feel for whats in her hand like a really sharp knife that has a shine on the tip making it pointing ... it was amazing you are a true artist and im in love with your poem.
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love it
i thougth i was very intrestin and made me think about cutting in a new light sorta of about sometimes we cut what we want i have a rose in my arm actaualy and some names thanks for sharing this with me
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I love the end of this.
Its a really great write.
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unlike most people who are not cutters you deliverd a poem that reconises that you don't cut but never bashes those who do, great form and word choice, thank you, welcome to the finalists
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I like the message in this and how you chose not to do it in the end. It's true that you can stop cutting if you really want to. You had some good images and figurative language in this too. Didn't exactly WOW me, but overall, I think you did a good job. Thank you for entering my contest.
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hmmm never heard of sumone cutting in shapes? lol maybe not a true cutter..but ya i did like this...my fav line is "I would dip the blade of my knife
into saltwater and run it slowly over my wounds," lol even gave me a new idea. good job!
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Wow, I love your take on the subject-matter... It's always nice to see a refreshing light on such a common subject. Well done, and good luck in the contest
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This is great. I love the description, especially at the beginging. Great Job with making me feel what you are feeling. I love the hope at the end, it's exactly what I'm looking for. Great job and good luck in the contest.
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Wow
This has got to be the best emo/cutting themed poem I've ever read...I just love how it ends..how this person is only saying what they WOULD do if they were to cut themeselves, and in the end they make the best decision of all; life.
Awesome
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what the hell????
this is disturbing...
gud poem just disturbing
i reli like it though
good piece
this line
"making the pain increase tenfold,
making the masochist in me scream with the pain and joy of it all."
it makes me think that u enjoy pain
this is a good poem though no doubts about that : -
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Haha but hope you got the idea that I'm totally against the idea of cutting (and any other form of self-harm too..)
Thanks for your comment yeah!
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