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Birth of Love

Missing image


Moonstones kiss the sacred stream
pastel hues steal gold
caught within love's tender beam.

Stitched tightly at the seam
deep inside protective folds
moonstones kiss the sacred stream.

Songs sung in high esteem
an ardent lover now foretold
caught within love's tender beam.

Fireflies dance the inner dream
flamed desires to uphold
moonstones kiss the sacred stream.

Chains of passion now redeem
heart no longer hard nor cold
caught within love's tender beam.

Treasured spirit now agleam
magic cast in amorous mould
moonstones kiss the sacred stream
caught within love's tender beam.

 

 

 

Author notes

Ok so the theme was Romantic Fantasy, Prompt - happy endings () and the picture to be written in a Villanelle...

A Villanelle is a nineteen-line poem consisting of a very specific rhyming scheme:
aba aba aba aba aba abaa.

The first and the third lines in the first stanza are repeated in alternating order throughout the
poem, and appear together in the last couplet (last two lines).

Picture credit: http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/IkG4nmcFqA1OZ7gTF7bpgg?authkey=_w2EtK-PGYo


I saw her as Aphrodite, goddess of love so sort of tried going with the birth of a new love. Meh, the only good thing was I was allowed to rhyme, I suck at happy writes and happy endings...Come back darkness all is forgiven!


A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 31 of 31

  • ApollosMuse
    January 18

    Edit | Reply
    i think you did amazingly well for it being such a light loving piece...i can go to bed now not scared!!glad iread this!!LOL!!


  • doolie gold member
    January 15

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    Wow!!! You should do more form writing. This is so beautiful. I think I'm getting the bug again. Congrats on you shiny.


  • lunarlunacy
    December 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    you should delve into the light of your dark more often. VERY well done.


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this kind of surprises me but i like it, you did a fantastic job on this, i see why it got gold, keep it flowing and congrads on the contest


  • October
    November 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow you did such
    an awesome job on this
    It's beautiful!
    Such soft and delicate emotion
    Enchanting!


  • aboomer silver member
    November 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Lovely wording!! I really like the words in this! Such a soft, romantic feel to it.
    Excellent!
    best wishes in your contest!


  • The Gambler
    October 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful and flows off the lips like silk. I don’t know about this form but it looks wonderful to me. I did have a chuckle, you left a comment on one of my poems saying that you “loathe” rhyming poems.

    P.


  • Ceridwens Soul silver member
    October 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Aphrodite well that's pretty close, its the goddess Diana so bonus points there I think.

    I am so with you on happy puke inducing endings, and romantic stuff give me darkness, death and destruction any day. You managed to get that feel of cottages with sweet roses over the door feel perfectly... yuck!! And no demons popping up to save your sanity well done.

    Form is perfect.

    I love your use of moonstones in one of the repetition lines that really gives a mystical edge to the whole piece ( a saving grace in mushy writes maybe).

    Awesomely done

    Blessed be

    Jem


    • LadyDementia gold member
      November 4, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      It is? I thought it was Aphrodite, Wikipedia has her down as the classical Greek goddess of love and beauty...see I researched
      Pleased you enjoyed it, was a nightmare to write!


      • Ceridwens Soul silver member
        November 4, 2008

        Edit | Reply
        Quite right Aphrodite is the classical Goddess of love, the picture is named Diana, not sure why, but Diana is the goddess of the hunter in Roman mythology, I believe she also fell in love with Apollo (not sure)


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    October 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is a lovely poem that you've written Mommy.. I understand what you mean about the happy writes and the happy endings.. No matter what genre you write in, its fantastic. You did an excellent job with this poem..

    good luck in the contest
    kat


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    October 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Amazing hun
    Your poetic talents are so strong, the style rhyme and flow..
    Beautifully written and no dark
    Best wishes always
    Julie x

    *clappy *


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    October 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is just beautiful hunny!!! You have penned such a lovely tale for the picture.

    What I love about this is the repeating lines used for each stanza takes on a slightly different meaning and stands in each stanza separately.. I think that's the idea with a refrain isn't it? And you've done it wonderfully.

    I know how much agony this must have been to write But you can write anything and make it magical!!!



  • Lexie - gold member
    October 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Oh wow

    this certainly is a very diffrent side of you,
    simply amazing, so soft and beautiful.
    i loved this!!


  • Immortal Obscurity Greeters member
    October 30, 2008

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    This is sweet, and as with Ktulu's entry, I think I puked a little

    You may well hate form, but this is definitely an awesome entry. I'm not overly-familiar with the villanelle myself, but from what I read in your ANs and on Shadowpoetry, you've followed the form to a T.

    My only nitpick:

    "Loves tender beam" should be "Love's tender beam".

    Other than that, nothing to complain about, aside from the fact that this gave me indigestion and I'll now be on the crapper for days My scores will be revealed upon the closing of the contest!

    Good luck!

    Laura


    • LadyDementia gold member
      October 31, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I've edited and corrected it...my brain was mush when I'd finished If you puked a little I got something right hey..lol. Now back to repressing....


  • Fritz O skennick gold member
    October 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Ooh, I bet that hurt...

    Best go have a shower to wash it off... lol!

    Seriously though, wonderful rhyme scheme, pretty narrative with some great word choices...
    Skillfully crafted, mission accomplished, quest over, Gold in the bag...
    Well penned, well versed, well done!!!


  • Arkbear gold member
    October 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Waiting on your entry......can't wait to see what you're going to do!

     

    Let me know when you have it ready......ready to read!

     

    God bless you!

     

    Bear ~


  • luckynsincere
    October 22, 2008
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    oooo cant wait to see what you have in store for the EVILLLLL ones...lol


  • Ktulu Blackwolfe silver member
    October 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Form and romantic fantasy....can't wait to see what muse you get from that. Good luck to you as well


    • LadyDementia gold member
      October 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Bucketfuls of vomit maybe This will be in the migraine inducing list me thinks


  • Ceridwens Soul silver member
    October 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Yes but it could always be worse too ...

    Here is your challenge

    Prompt: Happy Endings

    Image: http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/IkG4nmcFqA1OZ7gTF7bpgg?authkey=_w2EtK-PGYo

    if the link doesn't work let me know and I'll send it some other way as this is to my own picture albums at picasa

    Form: Villanelle

    Themes: Romantic Fantasy

    Restrictions: No dark or evil writing... we want lovely sweet beauty...

    good luck


  • WolfHeart
    October 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very deep meaning here. Just open the door and take yourself to a much better place. Electrodes can't win against positive thinking.

1 - 31 of 31