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Sickie

At rest on your breast as you rocked me
on the porch where the radio stood
where Red Jacket looked out on the pasture
where Uncle Charley presented me with the whale's tooth
where Thelma gave me the bath sponge
where I unrolled the hunter's sleeping bag
where we ate at the long table
where Dad's carved fish hung smelling of knotty pine
where I wished to be renamed Nancy
where I tasted and hated your coffee
where it's all been rearranged and closed in

Author notes

scarlet fever at 8 months; I remember being rocked on the front porch by my mother next to the old cabinet radio. The other details about being out on the front porch at Maple Meadows are from later years.

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • januaryrain gold member
    November 2, 2008
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    What a lovely trail of memories, great take on the prompt.


  • Tears In Rain
    October 23, 2008

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    I very much like that idea of a string of memories tied to a certain location. There is a secret richness to even the simplest of places. Fun also to try to imagine the age of the author at each returning memory.


  • Cynewulf
    October 23, 2008
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    Good use of the repetitive adverb. You have to be very confident to try that. You have succeeded.


  • bird-mad girl
    October 22, 2008

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    I loved the repeative nature of this piece. I think it gave your piece this cozy feel to it. It made me wish that I was being rocked and held tightly. There was such a beautiful feel to this piece, I can't describe it but it makes me feel warm.


  • paulcreates silver member
    October 22, 2008

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    The reason I enjoyed this so much, Nancy, is because each line seems to rock back and forth just as the porch rocker did.
    Nice.

  • Judith Chandler
    October 22, 2008

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    I like this so much. There's something about those repetitive lines that is very effective and the details are so moving. A bout of scarlet fever would tend to stick in your mind. I'm glad you got over it.

    Thanks you for this very moving piece.

1 - 6 of 6