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Ripples of Fear




Resting near the fountain
I could see the Farmer
tending his Cabbage.
"Oh how quaint"
I thought to myself.
My Mean heart quickening.
With not a ripple of remorse
I carefiully aimed  My Bicycle
and careened down the Hill.
The rigid handlebars striking his
belly with a horrifying splat.
It was with great fortitude that he
remained upright and turned
to me with a haunted look and
said "I guess you just qualified
for the meanest way to heighten ones senses!"
But it was his  weirdly wicked
smile that sent the ripples of fear
down My  suddenly  rigid spine.

Author notes

I managed to use all of the words in my Poem. Great contest!

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    November 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is quite a story making very good use of the word bank offered. Dangerously delightful and devious.

    Well done here.

    I struggled with the lack of punctuation in this piece and grammatical issues:

    i.e.

    heighten ones senses - ones should be one's
    no need to capitalize Cabbage, Mean, My, Bicycle, Hill...
    I would love to see some editing for this prior to judging as this piece does lend itself to great creativity and humor. Line breaks too would make it a more poetic piece.

    Perhaps an opening such as:

    Resting near a fountain,
    the farmer tends his cabbage

    "Oh how quaint"
    the words that sang through my mind...
    mean heart quickening....


    ETC.

    Just a thought.

    I will be back to this gem. Thank you for your entry and best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela

  • Judith Chandler
    October 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think you met your match, bike rider! That farmer with his "weirdly wicked smile that send the ripples of fear" was not a total hick, from the sounds of it, but like something out of American Gothic.

    An odd little piece for the word bank contest.