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It's Like This...

Missing image
Fuck you?

Baby, I don’t know
you

and you definitely
do not know me

...I don’t fuck
casually

but, let’s just say
for instance

we were together
you and me

and you wrote
those words on my belly

soft and slow
with a finger aching to go

below

I would most likely
smile and say

hey, baby,
we have a long day ahead

let’s just stay in bed
and make love

...we can fuck
tomorrow.

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Author notes

Prompt: Fuck Me...

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 52 of 52

  • -Darkest Desire-
    October 26

    Edit | Reply
    this was ridiculous! Way to get the silver as well! understandably too!


  • Matt E. Smith gold member
    March 11

    Edit | Reply
    Holy fuck me amazing lol...if this was the silver, the gold must have been unreal. Really clever, but hot...

    "and you wrote
    those words on my belly

    soft and slow
    with a finger aching to go

    below"

    enjoyed that image good job


  • zappa gold member
    December 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    fucking amazing indeedly


  • tombruize
    November 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Nice job...

  • Mickie27
    October 28, 2008
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    Very nice piece of work. I loved it. This is definitely a winner!


  • Aurielle
    October 28, 2008

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    this was funny. I love ithe ovious feelings of personality here. The voice in here was clear I can hear it as if someone was telling me this. I tw was such a believeable write because it flowed well. I was amused at how you sounded a little questioned at the beginning as you still convey the manner of "fuck you" but in a professional appropriate way. I would love for you to write of bitch of something lol...This was very intersting and short which I love to the point, smooth, and sexy...


  • eternalturky
    October 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Suttle and scrumptious, A lil naughty with a mix of cleaverness and class,
    Nice piece.


  • lunarlunacy
    October 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    and say the same the next day and the day after.


  • cricketjeff gold member
    October 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Stunning poetry, what more is there to say?



  • Beautiful-N-Broken gold member
    October 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great write!!!! Perfect for the prompt.


  • Zef
    October 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I was awstruck, lol, you certianly got the feeling of hornyness down, this is very blunt and that what gives this poem its charm, at least i think so, so yea, nice write mate.


  • the atlantic
    October 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    fuck yeah


  • doglover
    October 23, 2008
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    good

    nice......um. ya


  • nevadapoet
    October 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Nicely done...I liked your take on the prompt...as only you could state it.


  • nordicsky silver member
    October 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A great sentiment, subtlety is everything and your poetry is always subtle.

    Love, Peter


  • sheltered
    October 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    nice
    i really liked this
    original
    and i would respect you
    again tomorrow


  • afroqban
    October 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i meant to comment on this yesterday but was unable due to a prick of a boss. so i came back just to tell you that I think your take on the prompt is amazing!


  • littlemissrose
    October 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    very interesting .... i liked it.
    good work


  • moon2u
    October 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    outstanding write
    I love it
    applause applause
    you are so talente


  • notorious
    October 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    LMAO.

    In a strange way, this was actually very dignified for a poem so blunt; maybe its the bluntness that makes it dignified. Like, unashamed statements about screwing somebody (wow, how crude can I get? )

    'go' and 'below'
    Was this meant to rhyme? It was awesome word placement.

    The last 2 lines...LMAO to the infinite extent.

    Jessica


  • Balldinger silver member
    October 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    smoking alone...

    whoever applied monochrome glaze to this piece had to know that density matters more than clarity. it's not as easy to notice a disheveled truancy of moonstruck marks left dripping down a neutered man's chest as it is to see an inviting hind hump of a woman from across the room, streaking down a white wall in a corner all alone. my, my, my...

  • Cinnarry gold member
    October 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Delicious


  • csmmoms2
    October 22, 2008
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    Wow

    Lane you're at your best when you are in bed or maybe when
    you're double-knotted.


  • forty-one
    October 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!

    Jumping up and down here! This was sooo, so fantastic! Can I have a replay! Oh, and btw... how did you manage to snag a photo of my future wife?(just kidding). You are just too good, my friend... all that, and then some!

    41


  • MotorcycleFreak silver member
    October 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Interest

    I haven't really fucked in a very long time. I am not really sure what the term fuck means to me anymore. I suppose it has something to do with a sexual act, but I'm not sure what purpose it serves. It seems to be an ego thing. I hope this is what your getting at here, or else I have missed the point of this work. Thought provoking to say the least though. ~Peace~Gar


  • tomisb
    October 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Love is not made and people are not objects to possessed. Still you know how to leave the temptations just like carrots before the mule.

  • Rowan gold member
    October 22, 2008
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    lol. Yep there's a big, big difference. WEll done!


  • WolfHeart
    October 22, 2008

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    Nice juxstapostion of loving and fucking. With a few words you showed what so many words have been written about. Very nice piece of work.


  • daviscth silver member
    October 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    OMG Lane!! Just when I think I will never be surpried by what you write again, you prove me wrong!!! This really is a golden piece of work. I loved it.


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    October 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You ‘nailed’ this one Lane, and
    when two people who are ‘in’ love
    fuck, it’s really just an H’orderve
    before the ‘main course.’


    This is gold in my opinion.


    With much love,
    mj.


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    October 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Brilliant. Looking for my dictionary again but instead I will leave a Superb!!! Best to you in the contest


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    October 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Help! Lane, stop me from checking out the size of the scroll bar on the right as the first action I take on clicking on a poem of yours. I keep doing it and raising my eyebrows.

    But only THREE out of the whole damn lot have them have spotted the humour of the piece. Make it four now.

    I like the idea of being like a sex-Eskimo, with forty-six words for "fucking". It's a woman-thing, and (I assure you!) a lesbian-thing (and damn, I feel a poem coming on! LOL), and very rare in men (even in those who think they know a thing or two about women - usually they don't realise that "two" defines their maximum!).

    I love this idea - you don't know each other... making love will get you closer to knowing each other... maybe ... after that you can (may) (not necessarily WILL) fuck.

    Yes the poem is hot and sexy, but SO much more. It's one of your best. Three bunnies.

    (in case anyone else is reading this, I have copyrighted the sex-Eskimo idea)



    PS. How about sending some of your fans in my direction? Hell, I have no objection to charity!


  • sailor ptolema
    October 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    oh yes, very sassy


  • CaliOkie silver member
    October 22, 2008

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    Yes, this is sensual and speaks to a certain universal truth -- fucking without feeling is an injustice to both fucking and feeling.

    Great take on the prompt. Very well done.

    Garrison


  • malmadre gold member
    October 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It's a great response! Just come right out and say it. I had an old friend whose prepubescent son sent a little girl a note in school, do you want to fuck with two boxes for her to check either yes or no. It was so funny.
    You are quick, never at a loss for the right answer to any prompt.


  • chilali
    October 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hahaha! Wow! This was hot! And yup! That's it. That's all I can really say! Excellent take on the prompt. Best to you in the contest. This is definitely a winner!


  • HaleyMary
    October 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Lane. you have so much talent in your writing. Excellent take on the prompt. It's both sensual and erotic. Best of luck to you in the contest.


  • Pure Thought silver member
    October 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    My Lady

    don't be shy, go ahead and tell us what you think.

    Well done!


  • Cannonsfire
    October 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    LOL You did it so damn well

  • silverfish
    October 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    yup. dangerous prompt, but well pomed. -s


  • Sesheta
    October 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You prove that beauty is not at all dependent on propriety. Even at your rawest, you possess elegance and meaning. I love it!


  • marc creamore
    October 21, 2008

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    I don't know where in the hell you come up with this stuff . . . but oh my god, you gotta be the most refreshing wordsmith this side of a cool mountain stream in April (this one would melt the snow pretty damn quick me thinks) . . . I so love the softness this one contains, even though the prompt seemed to encourage you to be rather bawdy . . . I love your work Lanie . . .

    your devoted fan in the great North West,
    Marc


  • BehindTheShadow
    October 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Damn, girl.  Now that was Hot!


  • zochit2me gold member
    October 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hell yeah!!!





    let's get it on!!!

    ♥Becky♥


  • breedluv gold member
    October 21, 2008
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    Laney.....I have great hands.......!


  • ariazephyrzoe gold member
    October 21, 2008

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    amazing!!! only you can write something like this. yes, I also prefer, making love...


  • Swangrnv gold member
    October 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    DAMN!!

    L.O.L. whew you sure didn't mince words my friend! l.o.l. uhmm..yeah, i'm sure many a guy is thinking..can't wait til tomorrow!!
    excellent uh..piece!


  • DolceVito gold member
    October 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    It's beautiful, Lane Fucking and making love are two different activities (...and put the shark back on your avatar...I'm sick and tired of taking cold showers

    Vito


  • Alyzeh
    October 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    HAHAHAH! You are like the QUEEN! What an excellent take on the prompt!

    Amazing!

  • Just a poet gold member
    October 21, 2008

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    Ummmmm
    Gobsmacked here!!!
    Can I just say, as I write those little words on your belly, I would love to stay in bed and make love to you, and I definitely want to fuck tomorrow!!!


  • PerVirtuous
    October 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Yes. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. This is absolutely priceless! I can not imagine a more perfect response to that prompt.

1 - 52 of 52