How sweet the thought
I can be bought
I sing and dance a bit
The boy next door
was such a bore
I left him for a bit
A bit with hair
soft body parts
and eyes of hazel brown
Her name was Hazel
I forgave her that
and took her off to town
We gadded about
like many a lout
and drank a few as well
I ended down
across the town
in lightly padded cell
At my feet and smiling too
were animals galore
green ants, green rats and many, many more
But worst of all
and very tall
green elephants took the stage
I laughed and cried
and cried and laughed
it seemed to take an age
To get my head
up out of bed
and straighten out my brain
But now I'm fine
And take a shine
To teddy bears in my bed.
I give them names
and make no claims
to animalosity.
Author notes
My prompt was "Green Elephants"
A contest entry
- Make Your Own Prompt by Judith Chandler.
800 points, ended October 22, 2008, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How was it for you?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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What a delightful little ditty. Had me smiling. Nothing "deeply emotional " in this right, just good fun.
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My deeply emotional phase has either passed me by or is coming next year. Most of my emotional journeys are spent shouting at the b....y computer!!
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This is cute .
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Love the title word! Animalosity should be defined as the behavior of animals displayed to a human walking through the jungle naked. Good job on the freefall (or slipstream, as some have it) and bigger kudos on winning the silver mamba milking cup!
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ummmh green elephant, unusual. Well the rhyme make me really travel from a room to a cell back to the room.
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welll.... this poor confused kid. I wonder does he need a padded cell as well? Good write tho. I liked the color of the background too. Thanks for sharing this withus.
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this is cute. I know of seeing pink elephants lol. Well, no I don't mean that exactly ... I mean I've heard about pink elephants. Never seen them before. LOL
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Like your prompt and I get the feeling that you have written a sort of freefall piece here and haven't worked it over. That's what I wanted.
Thank you for your entry. -
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Just right. I found the exercise stimulating even though I went into freefall as you suggest. I stuck myself with the rhyme scheme and that was hard - I was further pressured by the six hours or so left in the contest. I shall certainly give the jam jar method more use for those blocked off and other times. Thank you for a couple of other things - that you didn't extend or change or delete the contest because there were so few entries - elsewhere some people do this and I find it most irritating and not in the spirit of a contest at all, also, and of course, thank you for awarding me silver and well done to the other shiny winners, and, finally, thanks for introducing me to this idea. Glad you liked my stream of something or other.
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