An adrenaline junkie falls
out of bed, out of laced comas
To keep gravity from moving
along in haste only known to time.
Forgot to say slow down and
rest like a grave that's left, undug
"No sleep is for the dead"
He says with an inanimate corpse
for his shadows and bed.
No resting at peace for this junkie
Or the homeless guy down the street
looking for cans as a savaged animal
would do for rabies.
Or maybe a drug induced prostitute
stays up most nights because she is always
thinking of the next big thing in this game
of Rabbits and Lions.
"Not for the weak or meek"
She says with money in her hand
with drugs on her sleeves
Heart weary of thieves and liars.
Author notes
...
Prompt: With A Rush
A contest entry
- with a rush by Melissa Gayle.
900 points, ended October 28, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
That last line is super powerful! I think, at times, we all can be thieves and liars. Wow. I like that.
This poem was pretty nifty. A bit dark, I'll agree, but you do dark well. It's not just the cliche "I hate the world and everything's coloured in crimson to me"... *chuckles*
Good job!

-
You've told a wonderfully visual story about life on the streets, and also about the needs and feelings of the people you have described. I always like checking out your work, although I don't always click to your latest! Keep up the good work!


-
-
I appreciate noticing the spelling errors and the suggestions, i have made some changes. Thanks

I cant tell you that more people need to do what you did.
It helps a lot!!!!! Most of the time I dont even recognize the errors in my poems so thank you.
-
-
You are entirely welcome. Keep writing, please!
-
-
-
Homeless has an 'e' in it.
I would like to see some of the 'sleeps' removed, it just becomes repetitive.
The ending stanza is strong, I enjoyed it.
Interesting interpretation of the prompt. -
-
Oh yeah sorry about that, I hope you will give me a second chance, I was kind of hasty when I wrote this because someone came right away when i was in the middle of writing this poem so I had to close it out.
I was going to edit it when I came back cos it didn't take that long.
So Im hoping you will give me a second chance. -
-
It sounds much better. I will come back again when this contest closes.
-
-
1 - 7 of 7



