we lie between the seasons, your august breath seeping like ethanol between my lips - i am weary beside you, sweet love, and unbidden,
i crave the change.
.
.
.
we held each other at dusk, the end of the world - you were here, and i was somewhere else. we were close, and you held my hand as the light went out,
299,792,458 m/s
and from where we were, i thought i saw god at the end of the street,
but i don't know, the light moved quicker than anything i could've seen.
Author notes
she calls me up, and says, 'i don't want you to be alone.'
<3
A contest entry
- with a rush by Melissa Gayle.
900 points, ended October 28, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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brilliant closing.
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the ending was fantastic. I felt like all of this was such a rush of emotions and that was great. I love this piece, it has the strength of your longer prose but it seems you've managed to condense it, and it still means a lot and has that quality. I think I will adore your writing until the end of time.
<3
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i love the ending! -- some of the most fantastic last two lines i've ever read.
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this is very endearing.. im not sure what to say or how to react to it but its filled me with a sense of knowing. beautiful write my dear
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i love the style of this, it's really different. also the ending lines in particular. great write!
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i like this a lot... you style is um... just yours!!!
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not your best, but youre just so goddamn fascinating it doesnt matter.
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haha. well if everything was the best, it wouldn't be great. (okay okay excuses =P)
but i still <3 you because for saying i'm fascinating ^^
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This is excellent, I love the prose aspect and the images conveyed. Really well done!!
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