The night turns black
Looking up at the sky
As I look back
The past flashes as I say goodbye
Below me, is a huge crowd
They're looking at me
Someone aloud
Is calling me
Tears left my face to the ground
Standing in the dark of night
I'm not bound
To the life of light
Someone runs to me
Where I stand
Begging, "don't jump please..."
"Take my hand..."
I remember you now
But, you can't hold me down
I don't know how
But darkness is all around
Tears go down your face
You can't stop me from what I'm about to do
You take my place
Your last words, "I'll jump for you..."
Author notes
I wrote this based on the song Don't Jump by Tokio Hotel. I loved the song and music videos. I wrote from Bill's perspective on the roof.
A contest entry
- Creative Rhyming by OldBear34.
750 points, ended November 7, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm gunna give you points for your poems! by SmartBrick.
400 points, ended November 30, 2008, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - loosing a loved one by karas.
400 points, ended November 25, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Music Inspired by Hated..
550 points, ended January 20, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
-
amazing song inspired by an amazing song
-
This was very nice!Your score:
61/66
Thank you for entering!! -
I read the title and thought: "TOKIO HOTEL!" This song is connected to a lot of emotions for me, how I thought this song might have been written just for me...
I like this poem, I think it could even be improved if you worked on the rhyming a little more... But all in all, well done.
Thanks for sharing!
Keep on writing!
Annie
-
Interesting Concept!
A noble effort, though your rhyme scheme was inconsistent. You did grab the reader and take him on a wild ride.
Adding your comment:
