why am I this way?
like a river with too many twists and turns
colliding with the rocks
hoping to beat some sense
into myself
I never thought that confusion
was so similar to an
electrical box when you get too close
to the severed wires it hurts
when you try to untangle the ends
am I a hopeless case?
when the padlock is all rusted
sharp corroded metal ready to cut deep
realizing it is my flesh bleeding all over
I didn't realize that my image
was fuzzy and distorted
obnoxious flashing pictures i really
didn't want to see blinding
my poor cornea's; am I too stuck in
this hell of a social box?
what is it going to take?
to flip me inside out?
change my skin a millions shades whiter
transparent, beyond doubt, cloudless
smooth, pulsing, open and focused
Another day.
Author notes
Life is crazy. I have been having some super busy weeks, not just with everything going on around me, but also what I have been thinking about. What do I want to do with my life? Am I making the right decisions? Am I keeping my priorities straight? These are just some thoughts that I have been having, getting them onto paper feels good.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Bandit Appreciation
Thank you for this entry to the reading list
your participation is appreciated!
The Poetic Bandits
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This is a great poem from a 'let it all out' point of view - I like the way that you have captured those thoughts so well on paper - while not taking away the loose-connection kind of flow
I think that some extra punctuation would help the reader know when to pause and emphasise your words - but overall I thought that this was excellent!
Keep writing
Polly
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Yes, there are a lot of choices to make in life. I know what you mean, sometimes it can gang up on you.
Wished you would have used punctuation throughout. It's a little awkward how you have the question marks positioned almost randomly, ignoring them in other places where you are asking questions. -
Very nice
You have expressed your position wonderfully - I can feel the questioning and wondering in your words.
"I didn't realize that my image
was fuzzy and distorted
obnoxious flashing pictures i really
didn't want to see blinding
my poor cornea's; am I too stuck in
this hell of a social box?"
This stanza especially spoke to me. Your angst speaks strongly and the poem is very well put together.
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Sentiments expressed very well in these lines. Liked the metaphoric thoughts as well. Life is crazy for m any - we lead susch hectic, busy lives, hardly time to unwind and just take a break.
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Wow what an amazing write. I think we all need to step back and reflect on our lives and make sure that we are heading in the direction we want to be. I wish you all the luck and will be praying for you. Thanks for sharing your wonderful write. hugs Theresa
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This was amzing. Full of metaphors and imagery
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