A bright light burst upon the world
Much darkness was dispelled.
Great joy was shone to everyone
And honesty compelled.
A light so bright that all could see
New truths in its vicinity.
A light so bright,
A light so bright,
Illuminating constantly.
Yet, dimmer lights showed their surprise
All full of angst and fear.
They covered their aphotic eyes
When bright light would appear.
It caused them pain its mighty glow
Made shadows shrink and secrets show.
It caused them pain,
It caused them pain,
They really didn’t want to know.
Bright light felt sad for one and all
Who hurt when in its light.
Was willing to take any fall
To try to make things right.
It wasn’t fair they suffered so
While it was happy and aglow.
It wasn’t fair,
It wasn’t fair,
And bright light felt it had to go.
So bright light went upon a quest
In hopes that it could find
A light so bright that it was blessed,
So when their beams combined
The truth would show to everyone
And shadows would be all undone.
The truth would show,
The truth would show,
From light that’s brighter than the sun.
But bright light’s quest was troublesome
For it could not incite
Its fellow shining lights become
Much more than half as bright.
The bright light dimmed in sad despair,
Alone with so much light to share.
The bright light dimmed,
The bright light dimmed,
With sadness more than it could bear.
A golden light came very close
And whispered lovingly:
“Your light is brightest when it glows
to give unselfishly.
Do not despair, fulfill your quest
And take this very simple test!
Do not despair,
Do not despair,
Shine your light on the very best.”
The bright light shone with happiness
And realized what was wrong;
The brightest light is when you bless,
It had this all along.
It blessed itself and from it came
A brilliant everlasting flame.
It blessed itself,
It blessed itself,
And so enlightenment became.
Author notes
This is a trijan refrain
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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this is pretty good. I like how you wrote it. Keep up your great work.
TwiztidMaggot -
Nothing is what it seems to be until some critical point is reached after which functions overlap and everything is just about the same. Increasing knowledge leads to increased confusion. Up to some critical point. This poem must have been written when your mind was quite far removed from dissimilar fake perceptions. Either that or after a rather stiff drink. In any case, it leaves things to ponder.
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The poem is not about knowledge, but about awareness. They are not the same.
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Quite. In this realm the processes are related nevertheless.
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Theres a lot of depth to this poem and I'm sure people will look at it and read a lot into it.. some religious overtones etc but I feel its not exactly religious.. there's a whole lot more to it than that.. its curious and fantastic.
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If there is religion in there it is by divine intervention as I did not put it there. Thanks.
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This made me cry.
Not too good to be true -- because here it is!
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Wow
I feel every word. I loved it. Perfectly done. Congratulations!
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Superb Plus
'tis a most elegant write, indeed. You have expressed your thoughts quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us.
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What a special write, I can see why it stands alone...such deep truths embedded inside as well
another notch added to your awesomeness, my friend...if there's anymore room...smile lots of love
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Most eXcellent
.........
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Well, I am selfishly happy that I made the earlier mistake on your featured poem.
This is awesomely wonderful!
Something that I must share with daughter; what a beautiful poem with such a beautiful message.
I love the form and the imagery is amazing, your rhyme is perfect and flows so easliy off the toungue.
very impressed and inspired, I have to learn to write like this.
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Wow! This is so beautiful!!!! I felt lifted and inspired by it. The form is lovely, I've never tried a trijan refrain. Could you im me the pattern and rules? Thank you so very much for sharing this wonderful write.
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Wonderfully written
The words touch home in so many ways, love the way you brought these emotions to "light", look forward to reading more of your work.
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Fantastic Write
This is great it talks to my soul and has such great images and invokes great feeling.
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Oh this is a magnificent beacon to behold! Truth and beauty take us on a magical ride. You have outdone yourself here!!!
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insane
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Almost a new christmas carol
The seventh and the eighth stanzas of each stanza are the same in that they share the last word. I knew this must be a deliberate form so I look and lowe and behold,it is a trijan refrain. Quite professionaly done.Incite,bright. Despair,share, bare. You made me love this form. Its a song.
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Beautiful.
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You wield a mighty pen...but an even mightier sword. Keep your kingdom at your fingertips and your kingdom will keep you on your toes.
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Thanks. I love this. In about twenty days when I have finally studied your comment enough to understand it, I shall be inspired to write a poem based upon it. Thank you. I know no brighter light than you, so maybe you were in there somewhere?
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No words could do this write justice... so I will simple say I loved it!
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dearest allan,
I am so deeply touched by your verse, please add it to maa's list, it is my very favorite poem by you so far on this subject ... thank you for sharing these deep feelings that I know so well - especially at this very moment ... I have picked up on a "call" from your soul a few days ago, sensing that it came from a deeper place than outer appearances might have suggested ... and here we are ...
please know that I know your pain, and share it ...
nothing else needs to be said ...
my husband, my precious guide on my spiritual quest, is constantly reminding me of taking the position of a silent witness - he probably saved my life more than once ...
from my deepest heart I send you my sincere wishes of joy and peace ... thank you for being a spiritual friend ...
much love,
maa
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Grear Rhyme Scheme!
Reading your illuminating poem was a delight. Good Luck!
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Oh wow, what an amazing write, a lot of thought and depth.
Truly delightful!!!!
All the best for the contest.
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oh, my.
Can this be enough for now?
I want to hold this close for myself
for a while.
Love, lane
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Good enough comment for me. If you want to say more later you are welcome to come back.
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...(warm smiles)...I think my eyes hurt a bit...You certainly have a creative rhyme here...best of luck in the contest. Peace always, Rhonda ...and thanks...and...yes, it does...
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Was the question, "Does this poem make you want to take a long hot bath with scented candles, Zamphir music, and a bottle of Merlot?" If so, YAY!
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