I didn’t want to say: the faith I once held has taken a nose dive into a steaming pile of...
….coals
my dreams having smoldered into embers of ash long ago
-within the brazen bull of life
I find myself downtrodden-
On my knees in filth and grime,
scraping together the burnt remains of an innocent youth
-searching for what I once was.
(...Maybe such never truly existed.)
I didn’t want to say: the days get harder and harder for me to function as if in a semblance of normality.
With no motivation or hope-
I don’t feel mentally well.
I feel exhausted.
Weak.
Fragile.
I didn’t want to say: I value other people before myself.
Finding it easier to be the secret martyr-
feverously wishing for someone to give me purpose...
(…significance)
Maybe my life is one big karmic debt...
Maybe I deserve the hand I was dealt...
... maybe I never had a soul
Author notes
Contest:
this is an interview and this is your question:
what do you not want to say?
i'm not looking for poetry, i'm not looking for prose.
i'm just asking you to speak to me; tell me the truth.
Image Credit: http://parodyofapathy.deviantart.com/art/Through-the-Fire-101135177
A contest entry
- this is an interview. by Diseased Mind.
700 points, ended October 30, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want your darkest of dark poetry. by Chelse-Oh.
950 points, ended November 21, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Oh, i feel like this all the time. Great job thank you for entering keep up the great work. ~chelsey
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If you doubt anything in this life, I ask that you never doubt your influence and importance in my life. I understand completely your self doubt and introspection. I many times have wondered if I were to die, would anyone mark my passing? Would anyone cry at my funeral? But be assured that I would mourn your passing and value your life.
Yink
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outta boredom
thanks spigot -
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Don't make me hit you....
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Hello. Nice write, have to say that I have read some of the previous comments and I think that the broadness of subjects covered works in that to me it suggests a mind darting from one topic to another, without being overly verbose about it. If that is the state of your mind, then I wish you well on your journey, if not, then I wish you well in the contest. My regards.
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Thank you very much for both commenting and reading. You are correct in that I was trying to not be overly verbose, but still be open and sincere. Thanks again
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I like the wondering aspect of the introspection. It seems at first read to be a very broad sweep, however, the great thing about thinking pieces, is that, UM they make you think! This is specific in its exploration of self doubt, which colors our entire lives. We don't escape childhood without it. Geo
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I do think you are right in that I left it a bit broad in areas. I think I have a tendency to shy away from "woe is me" and this was as close as I could get to venting. However, I did want to squeeze out some thinking juice so glad it worked.
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Gotta say, this sounds pretty normal to me!
But, what is normal, anyway? I really like the way you wrote this, and especially the brazen bull reference.
(I'm a sucker for ancient torture/execution devices!)
Great job on capturing the day to day search for meaning and relevance, and what a complete bitch that search can be.
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Yeah, sadly it seems to be one of those common threads that ties humanity together.
ha, glad you like my brazen bull reference and even know what it is. I guess I was reading a bit too much on torture devices lately, such as: the wheel, the keep, crocodile sheers, the pear etc.
The search I think is an ongoing theme in my life, but this was an interesting writing exercise for a contest. The prompt was about what we don't want to say and in no poetry/prose form. Although... I have a tendency to use metaphors just in daily conversing. oh well.
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WOW
k you just made me cry... i feel your pain and this poem made me understand what you are going through... and wow i feel the same way... I loved the first couple lines... very good write! -
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A comment like yours means the most to me. thank you beyond words
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