You take me to a place where all my dark dreams come true.
Razor blades, I lick the wounds I’ve just torn into.
I’ve left my mark on your chest like a tattoo.
Just let me get down low.
So down low.
Please let the juices flow.
Feel it flow.
Suffocating my intensity, on my knees you make me crawl.
Let your fingers probe me down inside my fevered halls.
In dark fields, on railroads or in crumbled stalls.
And your fingers grip my neck.
Bond my neck.
Now my innocence is wrecked.
Let it be wrecked.
Rhythmic hips, down on my hips, fireworks in hallucinogens.
Release your waterfall down upon my chin.
Ejaculation flutters, under your eye lids.
I’m pleading you for more.
So much more.
I want to be your whore.
Make it hardcore.
Don’t mind being an empty gun for your arrogant bullets.
Bruise my thighs as you get bigger, the body never forgets
Rip me, lick me, and let it hurt, as I grasp your skin with fingertips
As your tongue begins to swirl
on my hidden pearl.
I’ll be your servant girl.
Just another girl.
Too quick the dream begins to fade and leave.
Find your ring, and go back to your filth and disease
Every summer I'll be here to fulfill your needs.
Into your lies,
your deceits,
and your life of fleas.
In time my mind will have regret.
Which my body will never forget.
Author notes
Contest Shatter My Soul, Let My Heart Ache by Reaper-117
In a list
A contest entry
- Bad Boys/Girls Turn Me On. ( Adult ) by Poetryintheblood.
550 points, ended January 12, 2 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Degenerate♥ {Make me cry, make me sigh.} by Heartbreaker Eyes.
1050 points, ended January 26, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - DOM or SUB? by loveaswellashate.
800 points, ended May 30, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Shatter My Soul, Let My Heart Ache by Reaper-117.
1500 points, ended May 27, 106 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show Me Your Sexual Energy. by Juggalette Sammy.
1000 points, ended June 10, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Erotic Poems- Prewrites Allowed. by Mercury Rising.
850 points, ended June 6, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best PreWrite. by Kastor.
470 points, ended October 11, 78 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do you think.
Comments
1 - 41 of 41
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nice
althought not entirely from a Dominants perspective, a very nice piece indeed. i especially liked your imagery in these lines:
Rhythmic hips, down on my hips, fireworks in hallucinogens.
Release your waterfall down upon my chin.
Ejaculation flutters, under your eye lids.
I’m pleading you for more.
So much more.
I want to be your whore.
Make it hardcore.
Thank you for your entry, and good luck to you! -
"Don’t mind being an empty gun for your arrogant bullets.
Bruise my thighs as you get bigger, the body never forgets
Rip me, lick me, and let it hurt, as I grasp your skin with fingertips”
These are my favourite lines! Thanks for entering my contest and good luck.
-heva♫
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Ohhh passion/sex filled.
Amazing, such a pleasure just to read marvelous job
Loved it start to finish
Favorite lines
"You take me to a place where all my dark dreams come true.
Razor blades, I lick the wounds I’ve just torn into.
I’ve left my mark on your chest like a tattoo"
Great job
~Serenity
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Congratulations on winning all those shiny trophys. This is really quite an excellent poem, written with a lot of passion, and it was a pleasure to read. Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for entering.
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Whew! An awesome poem, dipping into BDSM I see. I loved it! I was very intrigued reading each line, in anticipation of what was coming next. Ohmy. It's getting steamy in here. Makes me want to call up my lover! lol
Great write once again. The imagery was perfect! -
This has a solid flow and wicked meanings...the pain in the poem is almost palpable. At first I thought this was aguy writting as a women, but as I neared then end the bitterness I felt changed that thought....absolutely well done and thanks for entering.
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Very nice job on this piece, the imagery is very vivid and the flow here nice. Fantastic job with this write!!!
Bravo
♥ kate -
Greatly put makes me feel like I am there and it makes me want to experiment in this department
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This is amazingly dark and sensual, with raw passion and emotion lingering in the poem. It was so sexual, not everyone would be as brave to write such an "in-your-face" poem, and this is amazing.
I wish you the best of luck, and keep writing and improving your poetry. ^__^
Aeris Silverlight
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yeah. awesome. i f-ing love it. u are great. that blew my mind i hope u win.
lissa
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ty so much for your awesome comment, im happy you enjoyed it,
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now that I got some points thaought you would love some and good luck
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very good writen poem thank you for entering the contest
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I like this alot! ALOT! i like the best that at first, blind reading it. I thought is was a male perspective of a encounter, perhaps not so sexual..
so Ill be your ervent girl was the most shocking for me, comming to the realisation of a womans perspective!
great write! thanks for sharing.
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Fucking A! This is the cliché intensity I want! Gritty, unapologetic, "I want to be your whore."
That was like perfection. Filth and disease...Amazing. Good luck in the contest.
{Degenerate♥} Sarah.♥
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Darkly seductive
I love it!
Thank you for entering
~Pastel
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Oh, this was dark and sensual, but full of pain hidden behind every line. This felt so serious, pulled so hard at my eyes that I could not stop reading. This was an excellent write, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Great job and good luck in my contest!
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Thank you for your very deep, and passionately expressed entry, good luck in my contest, Josie
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wow, this is a very, heated, passionate piece, is very well written, good phrasing and metaphors.
nice imagery
and it certainly got my attention
'Now my innocents is wrecked.'
innocence*
very well done, thanks for entering and good luck
xxx
=]
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Well it definitley struck my attention.It is a great write. Thanks so much for entering and good luck in the contest!!!!!!11
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wow...this is just amazing...so perfect. thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!
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This is very heated and well done!!!
A very enjoyable read and I am more than a little glad you entered it.
Thanks
The D O M
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well i can easily say this was a definite turn on and i wasn't expecting it. i loved the dark episodes of fully giving in to every bit of the dark realm, sex-craving girl. vivid and blunt words to get the point across. the ecstatic approach makes me want more. this was beautifully written and darkly hidden and most definitely exploited. the incorporation of cutting brought me back to my younger days. i believe you are the first finalist. thanks for the write. and when this is over i believe you'll be added as favorite
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very descriptive
It was one of the best
i have read yet
I didn't like the beggining very much but it tied it together do it was good for me
Thank you for entering my contest
keep up the great work
Kitty23 -
Fever
This was a graphic poem with much intensity. Very good write. Thank you for entering the contest and good luck.
RF
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Very graphic and full of imagery.
This poem is vivid and much of this is due to the form and the unusual rhyme. I was sucked in from the very first line and enjoyed every word.
A great poem.
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hot as HELL
and the moment in the end where the speaker kinda snaps out of it...so much truth. i've probably felt like that a million times over. definitely not one of those cliche erotica poems
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ty very much for your comment, i appriecate it
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this is a really good poem. The imagery was amazing. I think it could have used some more gore for this contest, but it still kicks arse.
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OOOO Awesome
I loved loved this write! you expressed your feelings so well and actually made me think I loved this line too ~
Rhythmic hips, down on my hips, fireworks in hallucinogens.
Release your waterfall down upon my chin.
Ejaculation flutters, under your eye lids.
I’m pledding you for more.
So much more.
I want to be your whore.
Make it hardcore.
Thanks for entering good luck see ya around
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I hate it.
But it sure is great poetry. Your word images are snub-nosed bullets ripping through my brain. At 69 years old I really don't need this kind of shit. I'd rather wear a plumeria lei than a hemp-rope noose any day. But you have talent--don't stop writing.
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umm wow, ok.. thanks for stopping by. this is categorized as, Dark, Pain, Adult and Erotic...
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hey hun
could you fix your authors note and then let me know? After, i'll read this ^_^
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Very dark and it left me wondering if it was just muse inspired ...
I usually don't like the cutting or abuse theme ... thank you for entering -
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ty for your comment, actually, this might be writen dark. but from my memories it was truely happy times... sounds weird i know. also this isnt an abusive poem, unless you call sadomasochism abusive. althought those who practice it would say its a give and take consented act.
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Sick and twisted. I loved it.
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Very nice, I especially liked the "As your tongue begins to swirl,
on my hidden pearl."
Well Done and Best of Luck
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Excellent and vivid piece. Enjoyed it! Thanks for entering my contest. I'm honored to have you share your work here. Good luck!
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i got the faith, but ty very much for comment
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Sounds sad
To let someone have this control is a sad thing. You could be so much more than a place to hang one's hat so to speek. I have read a few of your works and your page. You have much more to give than you want to believe. I have faith in you, I wish you did, The Shaker -
intense
I really enjoyed this piece!
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